‘Ma’am, can I cook 1 egg to eat with yesterday’s rice because I’m hungry?’ — Maid asks her employer, but she had to replace the egg because ma’am says, ‘Can’t’

SINGAPORE: A single egg. That was all it took to boil a hot debate about food, dignity, and employer–helper dynamics in Singapore.

A Facebook post in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper group shows a WhatsApp exchange between a domestic helper and her employer. In the message, the helper asks politely: “Ma’am, [can I] cook 1 egg for lunch? I can have [it] with yesterday’s rice.” But her employer’s reply was brief and final: “Can’t,” to simply mean the answer is no.

“If you can’t afford a helper, don’t hire one…”

What followed was an apology from the helper that struck many readers as heartbreaking.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I only cooked one [egg] because I was hungry, but [I’ll] replace it. [I’ll] borrow one from a friend [on] the same block. I’ll replace it when I’m [on my day] off.”

The image was shared by a group member, believed to be another helper, who captioned it in Indonesian: “This is also one of my life tests… what did we do wrong?” She added her own plainspoken line to the post: “If you can’t afford a helper, don’t hire one.”

“How can we (helpers) work properly if we are hungry?”

Commenters questioned how a basic meal could become a matter of approval, replacement, and apology.

One employer wrote: “My helper can eat whatever I buy for the house. If I know she likes certain types of food, I’ll buy extra for her too. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. She’s even gaining weight because she says I feed her too much.”

Another comment cut straight to the issue: “Why don’t you (employers) give enough food to helpers? How can we (helpers) work properly if we are hungry?”

“Why do they hire helpers if they don’t want to give proper food?”

Some responses pointed to regulations rather than emotions. One commenter urged: “Report to MOM (Ministry of Manpower). It’s mandatory to give enough food to the helper. Eggs are not too expensive.”

Others shared similar experiences. “I have this situation before. I asked my employer for just one tomato, and she also said, ‘Can’t.’ How can an employer do this? Why do they hire helpers if they don’t want to give proper food?”

There were also reminders that not all households operate this way. “I’m so blessed I can eat whatever my employer buys for house needs,” one helper wrote.

“What did we do wrong?”

The post showed exactly what happened in this situation: a request, a refusal, and an apology that shouldn’t have been necessary. The reaction it also triggered from others suggests that the issue is beyond groceries. It is the denial of giving basic care.

In a system where helpers live where they work, food is not a perk. It is a necessity. And when a single egg becomes a moral test, many are left asking the same question as the caption did: “What did we do wrong?”

Read related: Maid asks, ‘Why employers can afford to travel, spending thousands, but can’t afford to buy helper’s food, complaining it’s expensive?’