SINGAPORE: A 19-year-old local shared on social media on Tuesday (Sept 30) that her mum has been asking her for at least $50 each month, saying the contribution would “bless” her life.
She explained in her post on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit that this was not “rent money”, but an additional contribution on top of the groceries and household items she already buys for her family.
The teenager said that she currently works two jobs. One brings in less than S$500 a month, depending on how many hours she can commit, while the other is a temporary role paying S$1,600 for one month, which she is using to cover her school fees.
“I do not mind splurging on my parents. However, with all the money I’m earning working 2 jobs, I have to pay my school fee, which is S$2300 by February, and after the S$2300, there will be a balance of S$10k till my diploma ends,” she wrote, describing how dire her situation is.
She added that her parents have never supported her emotionally or financially since she was young and have no savings because they blew their money on “luxuries.”
When she also decided to return to school after taking a gap year for her mental health, they disapproved and told her it would be a “waste,” even though she only has N-level qualifications and wants to study for a better future in Singapore.
On top of the financial stress, she said she also has to endure emotional abuse at home. According to her, her mum may sometimes treat her kindly, but there are frequent episodes where she screams at her, calling her “stupid,” “pig,” and “useless”, despite the fact that she works five to six days a week.
Moreover, she wrote that whenever she buys them food or items like bath and body products, they still turn around and act ungrateful, asking her, ‘Is that all?’
The teen admitted that remarks like these “made her feel upset” as the purchases were made with her own hard-earned money.
Seeking advice, she asked other locals in the forum: “Is giving ‘blessing’ money monthly to my mum fair in my situation?”
“Explain to her and give her S$20 if possible.”
In the discussion thread, one Singaporean Redditor warned that giving in could set a precedent for even larger demands down the road.
“Next time it will be S$500 per month and S$1000,” they wrote. “Tell your mum you can bless yourself with your own money. Time to find somewhere else to stay or learn to thicken your eardrums.”
Another suggested she limit her contribution to an amount that wouldn’t strain her finances, saying, “If I were you, I’d just give the minimum ‘blessing’ money to keep the peace until you earn enough to move out.”
They added, “Consider it buying yourself time and peace while you work extremely hard to move out. Use this desire to escape the ‘mental abuse’ as motivation to push yourself even harder.”
A third commented, “I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through now. Bottom line is, if you’re supporting yourself and your needs, then you should be the one making the decisions on what you want in life. This includes the decision to study. Anyone else who is telling you otherwise is emotionally blackmailing you.
A fourth said, “Explain to her and give her S$20 if possible. Regardless, tell yourself it’s rent and you will feel better.”
In other news, a foreigner who has lived in Singapore for six years recently shared his concerns online after his long-term girlfriend, whom he plans to propose to in December, asked him to move into her parents’ home instead of renting a place together.
Keen to hear other locals’ advice on this matter, he shared in a post on the r/askSingapore forum that they had been looking at studio apartments for some time, but found that anything within their budget was located too far from their workplaces.
Read more: Foreigner torn as Singapore girlfriend wants him to live with her parents
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