SINGAPORE: New to parenting, a Singaporean couple recently turned to social media to ask others how to “survive without grandparents and maid’s support.”
In a post on r/askSingapore, the husband shared that he and his wife are barely surviving each day because of their hectic schedule.
With their 5-month old baby enrolled in infant care, their typical day begins with a hectic rush to prepare their child and ensure she is ready for the day ahead before heading off to their respective full-time jobs that starts at 8.30 am.
After finishing work at 6pm he said that they would rush to pick the baby up from infant care and prepare her for bed, before proceeding to start on their “daily mass washing of bottles, clothes, pumps etc.”
Moreover, he mentioned that on some days, they find themselves working late into the night. As a result of this demanding schedule, they struggle to get adequate sleep and have frequently fallen ill themselves.
“Is it that I am really too much of a strawberry or do we really need a village to raise a kid in sg?” he asked.
“Automate your life.”
In the online discussion, one netizen who managed to raise four kids without a helper or grandparents’ support advised the couple to “automate their lives.”
For instance, they could consider investing in a dishwasher to streamline the process of cleaning all the baby bottles and pump parts. According to the netizen, the convenience of this appliance is that it not only saves time but also ensures that items come out hot and sterilized, eliminating the need for additional sterilization steps.
The netizen also suggested getting a robot vacuum and a proper dryer. She particularly mentioned that they should get the high end vacuum model that even washes and dries the mop part, so that they won’t need to do anything other than pouring away the dirty water tank every few days.
As for the dryer, she said this would save them a lot of time and money. She added, “Don’t bother with those steigen stuff which still requires you to waste time hanging each clothing piece by piece.”
As for the other household chores, the netizen recommended that they hire a ‘once-a-week part time helper’ to help them wash toilets, deep clean the house, and iron their clothes.
She stated, “Definitely try to automate and outsource as much of the tedious housework as possible. Dishwasher, dryer, robot vacuum and part-time helper were indispensable and much needed for my sanity when the kids were younger.”
Another netizen commented that it really does take a village to raise a child. However, since our current community and society is no longer built this way, where neighbors and relatives would gladly help each other out in times of need, people have resorted “to buying help.”
This meant hiring domestic helpers. He then suggested that the couple hire one, saying that this option immensely saved his life, marriage, and mental health.
He added, “If you can’t afford the space for a domestic helper, get part time help at least. You want to spend your little time not working playing with kids rather than completing house hold chores.”
A third netizen shared that, without any help, he and his wife eventually accepted that one of them would have to sacrifice their work. He said, “My wife gave up her job and looked after both kids full-time after the 2nd child was born.”
Reflecting on their choice, he expressed that this turned out to be one of the best decisions they’ve ever made.
Despite the financial adjustments of living on a single income, it allowed his wife to spend substantial quality time with their children.
Being there day in and day out helped her deeply understand their needs and personalities, which made a big difference in how secure and happy their kids felt growing up.
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