27-year-old Singaporean says dating feels like a “luxury,” fears he might end up alone forever

SINGAPORE: A 27-year-old man who’s been searching for “the one” for the past three years recently shared on a local forum that he’s starting to worry he might end up alone forever.

In his post on r/sgdatingscene, he said he has tried just about everything, from swiping on various dating apps to joining weekend classes and hobby groups. He even made a strategy of making more friends, both men and women, thinking that if he spent time with enough people, one of their friends might eventually turn out to be “the one.”

Unfortunately, none of these approaches has worked. Dating apps completely burnt him out after years of swiping and chatting. Weekend activities did not help either, and now he admits that he mostly just wants to relax and recharge on weekends instead of putting himself out there.

Feeling increasingly hopeless, he wrote, “Time moves fast, and I don’t see things changing even though I felt I made an effort. Before I know it, I’ll be spending Christmas and Valentine’s alone again. I’m scared that this is going to be my life for the next 30+ years: work, then come home, spend time alone.”

He also mentioned that he now sees dating as something like a “luxury.” In his own words, “For me, dating or having a gf is like seeing people eat a S$100+ steak in a restaurant or women carrying designer handbags. Out of reach for me.”

“You should look beyond SG.”

In the discussion thread, several Singaporean Reddit users gave the man some advice.

One encouraged him to focus on self-improvement and financial stability: “Just focus on your career, make as much money as you can. Once you are rolling in $$, the women come looking for you instead. But of course, not at the expense of your own health, please. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, and when the time is ripe, you will meet someone who is compatible and at the same phase of life. Focus on building up yourself first, especially when you are only 27. Chill man. Men age like fine wine.”

Another suggested broadening his search beyond Singapore, saying, “Perhaps you should look beyond SG. You might be surprised how your chances might multiply.”

A third user added, “You do not need to spend to impress the other party, especially on the first meeting. Just do something together (preferably something that you both prefer to do), and have a simple meal. The objective is to get to know each other, not to show off.”

In other news, a domestic helper took to social media to share that she has been feeling anxious and struggling with panic attacks while working for her current employer.

Posting in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper Facebook group, the helper said she has been working in her employer’s three-storey home for the past two months, where she and another helper care for six bedrooms and seven toilets.

Read more: ‘No WiFi, no hygiene items, only leftovers’: Maid says strict routine and lack of food leave her anxious and struggling with panic attacks