SINGAPORE: A Singapore employer has taken to Facebook to vent her frustration after her domestic helper spent more time on TikTok than on housework, stretching simple chores into marathon sessions and sending the household electricity bill soaring.
In a post shared on the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper group, the employer said a task that should have taken just “15 minutes” ended up taking “1.5 hours instead because she’s busy scrolling on her phone,” while ironing clothes became a three-hour affair because the helper was distracted “filming TikTok of herself ironing clothes”.
The employer then asked the group members, “Is it that hard for helpers to follow house rules such as no handphone usage during working hours?” adding that she deliberately did not confiscate the phone out of respect and in case of family emergencies: “I don’t mind if she checks her phone occasionally. But not TikToking or scrolling social media.”
The employer’s main grievance was not occasional phone checks, but what she described as constant filming and social media use during working hours, despite a clear house rule against it.
“I treat her very well, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate or follow the rules…”
According to the post, the prolonged ironing sessions also had a tangible cost. “My electricity bill jumped up so high!” the employer said. She went on to list what she felt were fair and even generous working conditions.
She said the helper had no night duties despite there being two toddlers in the home, as the children slept with the employer. Weekends did not require the helper to bathe the kids, as the employer said, “I do it all myself,” and when the family went out, “we ensure she has food to eat,” so she did not have to follow them outside and get tired.
“I treat her very well, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate or follow the rules of no phone usage during working hours,” the employer added.
Food choices were also flexible. The employer wrote that while “other helpers are limited to Maggie brand for instant noodles”, her helper preferred “Korean Shin Ramyun”, which she allowed.
When asked to buy groceries while the family was on holiday, the helper rejected chicken and pork and opted for fish instead, a request the employer said she also accommodated. “She eats very well in my house till she has gained weight,” the employer wrote.
“Seems like she has no heart to work properly…”
Beyond phone use, the employer cited what she described as the helper’s repeated carelessness. Clothes were placed in the wrong drawers, including her own clothes being kept in “my 5-year-old daughter’s drawer,” adding, “Seems like she (helper) has no heart to work properly.”
In another incident, the employer said that the helper used excessive force while cleaning, causing damage to fixtures. “She used so much force to scrub the floor that my toilet’s metal frame was also dented and peeled off.”
The employer stressed that she had “never scolded or shouted at her,” but noted that the helper appeared unhappy whenever corrected.
“If you have an easygoing employer, then why keep pushing luck and not respect basic house rules?”
What stung the most was discovering that the helper had told her friends online she had an easy life. “I saw her telling friends on Facebook that she has a very easy life here,” the employer wrote, before questioning why basic house rules were still being ignored.
“If you have an easygoing employer, then why keep pushing luck and not respect basic house rules?” the employer asked further.
She added that she treated her helper with respect, partly to model good behaviour for her children. “They are watching us, and I want them to learn manners that we treat aunty (helper) with manners and respect too.”
“It’s disappointing to see her not appreciating my kindness…”
The employer also detailed what she described as flexible working arrangements. “She has two days off a month. I always ask her to tell me which days she wants to go, and I have never rejected the days she chooses before.” According to the post, once the helper’s work is done, “she can even rest early.”
The employer ended her post on a reflective note, acknowledging she was not perfect but expressing disappointment. “My helper came from a previous place where she was treated badly and didn’t have enough food to eat, so it’s disappointing to see her not appreciating my kindness.”
“Just give her a letter of termination…”
Commenters responding to the post were largely unsympathetic to the helper’s behaviour. One urged a decisive action:
“Just give her a letter of termination. Write down the reasons you’re firing her, and that the quality of work was not good. Hire a runner and send her home. There’s absolutely no reason to keep someone on the job when their heart is not in it to work for you. You don’t need that grief. There are A LOT of hardworking and capable house helpers who would be dying to be in her place. If she can’t deliver, she needs to leave. Plain and simple.”
Another shared a similar experience, saying a previous helper chose to leave after being required to keep her phone during work hours:
“Your situation is similar to my previous helper. She worked with my family for 3 years, but eventually left because I required her to keep her phone on during working hours. She decided to return to the agency. After that, I hired another helper. Thank goodness, I found a very good helper who loves my children as if they were her own. My advice is: let her go back to the agency or return to her country. This is a matter of character, and it is something that will not change. I do not want anyone to take advantage of my kindness.”
Whether the issue is discipline, boundaries, or mismatched expectations, the post has elicited widespread agreement among employers and even other helpers as they grapple with how smartphones are reshaping household work, one TikTok video at a time.
Read related: ‘We treated our helper as family for 7 years, trusted her 100%, and yet she STOLE our bank card!’
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