SINGAPORE: A young woman is reminding others not to envy couples they see online after sharing that her own relationship, which many people praised as “cute,” was in fact emotionally draining and filled with constant conflict. She said that although she and her ex-boyfriend appeared happy in photos, they spent “more than half a year arguing every single day.”
Posting on the r/SGexams subreddit on Saturday (Nov 22), she explained that her ex, who came from an elite junior college and was well-liked by his peers, initially told her he had a “bad reputation” in past relationships. He said he felt guilty about how he used to behave but promised to change because she was “special to him.”
However, as time went on, the façade slipped, and she realised his remorse had been nothing more than an act.
According to her, he constantly controlled what she wore, discouraged her from looking “pretty” unless she was with him, pressured her to cut off nearly all her male friends despite those friendships being purely platonic, and made degrading remarks about others before “brushing them off as jokes.”
He also isolated her from her own support system—scolding her for confiding in friends or family, snooping through her phone, and dictating what she could post and who she could text. At no point did she feel “physically or emotionally safe.”
“He was a serial guilt-tripper and often pushed the blame back to me,” she continued. “His insecurities also seeped through whenever I excelled in something he couldn’t do or even due to his lack of confidence in his own appearance, and he gave me no privacy at all.”
To make matters worse, while he was controlling almost every part of her life, he was still privately messaging his “girl friends.”
She added that after she finally ended the relationship, he immediately started dating someone new, which confirmed her suspicion that he might have been cheating behind her back.
“This was all hidden beneath the facade of someone who holds the reputation of being from an elite JC and has many friends,” she said. “This relationship took a huge toll on my academics and mental health; I really felt so worthless and disgusted with myself for withstanding the abuse because of my attachment to the relationship.”
Wanting others to avoid the same mistake, she wrote, “Once you see a red flag you can’t change, simply RUN and NEVER look back. People like this aren’t worth your time! especially when all that time spent waiting for them to change could have been time spent with someone else who DOESN’T need to change.”
“And to all the people who are jealous of couples they see online, don’t fret if you’re single; it’s sometimes a blessing that I’ve learnt to appreciate now.”
“It’s so scary how so many guys are like that.”
In the comments section, many netizens didn’t hold back in criticising the woman’s ex-boyfriend. One said, “Sorry to hear what you’ve been through! He seems like a spoilt, narcissistic, attention-seeking misogynist, etc. I think it’s just frightening and sad that some girls do date these guys, but it happens because often they are in an emotionally vulnerable state…”
Another reader chimed in with a similar experience, saying, “Why does this sound like my ex? It’s so scary how so many guys are like that, literally whatever you said. Truly makes me wonder if they grew up together.”
A third, meanwhile, praised the woman for sharing her traumatic experience online, writing, “I must applaud you for sacrificing by having to go through the whole ordeal again mentally just to pen down this warning for others.”
They added, “If I were your mother, I would be so proud of you, and if your heart ever softens/starts missing him, reread what you have written again, and thank you for being so optimistic and for loving yourself enough to leave. Rooting for you.”
In other news, a Singaporean man has turned to social media after discovering that a close friend of eight years secretly sold his luxury watch worth S$10,000 and blew all the money on illegal online gambling.
Sharing his story on Reddit’s r/askSingapore forum on Sunday (Nov 23), the man explained that because of his hectic work schedule, he often relied on this friend, who was unemployed, to help him sell items on Carousell. In return, he would give him a small commission for each successful sale.
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