Woman turns down overseas job for husband working in Singapore, ends up jobless and full of regret

SINGAPORE: A woman recently opened up on social media about how much she regrets turning down what could have been a life-changing job offer from an overseas competitor company. 

She explained that at the time, she chose to stay in Singapore because her husband couldn’t leave his stable job and wanted to remain close to his family and friends. 

Unfortunately, she was laid off from her job a year later.

Since then, she has been struggling to find stable employment and has remained jobless for the past two years.

“I work in tech and am trying hard to get back into the job market, but so far it’s been sluggish,” she wrote on the r/askSingapore forum on Monday (Oct 6). “I kid you not – Workforce Singapore (WSG) is even telling me to lower my salary expectations because the job climate is challenging.”

The woman also shared that while having a child has kept her occupied and fulfilled, she still can’t help but think about the opportunity she gave up. 

She said that late at night, when things quiet down, she sometimes finds herself scrolling through her old emails and rereading the offer that could have taken her career abroad.

The woman added that it hasn’t helped that some people joke about her “tai tai life,” unaware that her CPF contributions have barely grown. 

“My mom says it’s the fate of being a woman. You give up so your family can thrive and be stable,” she wrote. 

“I just feel millennial females are fed so much ‘you can do anything! Be a mom and be a career woman and still get enough sleep!’ from a young age, and maybe the realisation that pivoting into another industry now and sucking up a S$3k salary is difficult to swallow.”

At the end of her post, the woman turned to Singaporean Redditors for guidance, writing, “I’d appreciate any advice to move forward. I feel like I’m sending my CV into a sinkhole sometimes. And it sometimes makes me feel I should’ve migrated when I had the chance.”

“When a door closes, another will open.”

In the discussion thread, many commenters encouraged the woman to stop torturing herself over the choices she made years ago and instead focus on rebuilding her life in the present.

“Just focus on getting a job now with the knowledge that you have financial security even if you are not working,” one individual advised. “Nobody could have said what might have happened. What if you did accept the overseas job and things did not work out, and you end up regretting resigning and leaving your partner behind?”

Another commented, “Don’t think about what if. That boat has long sailed. You’re not defined by your career. You’ve a bundle of joy now, with a lifetime of memories to embark on a journey together. No boss is ever gonna remember what you did daily for work, but your child will forever remember the love and good environment he/she was raised up in.”

A third shared, “There’s a saying. When a door closes, another will open. I was rejected for a role in IT because of my history with cancer, and I was kinda pissed off at this discrimination. But I got a role at a bigger MNC, so I guess fate always has its way.”

In other news, a 22-year-old woman recently took to Reddit to share how her self-esteem has taken a serious hit after being ghosted by men shortly after their first or second date.

Posting her experience on the r/sgdatingscene forum on Thursday (Oct 2), she said that things usually start off really well.

Read more: 22 yo woman gets ghosted despite taking initiative, making reservations, and paying for dates, says her self-esteem has taken a hit