SINGAPORE: A woman has shared how her boyfriend of two years allegedly ended their relationship because he was embarrassed that she attended a private university while he studied at one of Singapore’s Big 3 universities.
Posting on the r/asksg forum, she said the truth only came out after she repeatedly asked him to be honest about why he wanted to break up.
According to her, he admitted that if he had known she would eventually end up at a private university, he would never have dated her in the first place.
He then tore her down, telling her she wasn’t “smart enough,” lacked leadership skills, had low career aspirations, and that he couldn’t picture a future with her because he was embarrassed by her educational background.
To make matters worse, he allegedly told her that if she had attended the same university as him, he would have respected her opinions more throughout the relationship.
“I’m still in shock that my opinions apparently carried less weight because of the uni I attend,” she wrote.
She added that he even compared her to a bad investment.
“He tried explaining his reasoning with an investment analogy: If you knew this stock had a bad track record, would you still invest in it?”
“The implication was that I was a failed investment. I remember just sitting there wondering how someone I’d spent almost two years loving could reduce me to a certificate.”
“I understand why some people want a partner with a similar educational background. People are allowed to have preferences, and I don’t resent him for that. What I didn’t expect was how much my university would eventually define my worth in his eyes.”
He said a degree didn’t matter
The woman said her ex hadn’t always been so judgmental.
When she first enrolled in a private university, he had reassured her that “a degree is just a piece of paper” and insisted it wouldn’t affect their relationship.
He also praised her character, saying she was hardworking, had strong morals and possessed the qualities people would want in a partner.
“Basically, I wasn’t lacking in any aspects of what one would want in a partner, other than my education certificate. Despite saying all of that, he still concluded that my certificate mattered more.”
“He told me my hard work could only take me so far, and that I’d never reach the standard he wanted his ideal partner to achieve (because of my starting point). He even spoke about things like earning a S$10k starting salary, saying that a S$4k starting salary was ‘low.’”
I don’t lack ambition
The woman stressed that she was far from complacent.
She admitted she hadn’t fully understood the importance of academics and career planning when she was younger, but said she became much more driven after graduating from polytechnic.
“I believe I’m not someone who lacked ambition. I’ve worked part-time while studying, completed multiple internships, taken on leadership roles, and spent years building my portfolio because I knew I would have to work harder to compete. I believe that effort and character growth would matter more than the name on your degree.”
My heart is still heavy
The timing of the breakup made everything even harder to accept.
According to her, her ex ended the relationship just before university orientations began, leaving her convinced he wanted a “clean slate before hall life, orientation, and meeting new people.”
“While I was still trying to process the breakup, he’d already moved on and was having fun.”
“I’m not saying he’s not allowed to move on. It’s just surreal how different our realities became almost overnight. Meanwhile, I was left replaying every conversation and wondering whether the last two years were nothing but being viewed through the lens of my educational background.”
“My heart is still heavy, but I know I will eventually move forward. I’m still going to work hard and build myself up. It is just extremely painful that I had to experience this.”
Reflecting on the experience, she said it exposed a deeper issue in Singapore, where people often seem quick to rank not only schools, careers, and salaries but people themselves.
“We’ve become so used to ranking schools, careers, and salaries that sometimes it feels like we start ranking people too. I don’t think educational compatibility is wrong. I don’t think wanting someone with similar ambitions is wrong, but I do think it’s deeply unsettling about telling someone you’ve loved for almost two years that they would’ve been taken more seriously if only the name on their certificate had been different.”
“At some point, I think we have to ask ourselves: if you strip away the university name and status, what are we actually valuing in another human being?”
“He doesn’t get to define your worth”
Her post quickly drew hundreds of comments, with most readers firmly in her corner. Many slammed her ex as a massive “red flag” and told her she was better off without him.
One wrote, “Your ex is either extremely materialistic or was looking for a way out of the relationship. Either way, it’s a bullet dodged for you. You are no longer tied to a fickle-minded person. Live your life to the fullest. Focus on yourself, work hard, stay fit, and more importantly, don’t let anyone steal your peace and happiness.”
Another told her, “This dude clearly thinks he is better than you (or anyone else, for that matter).
Move on. You’re more than this. He doesn’t get to define your worth—only you get to do that.”
A third added, “I went to private uni. My friends went to NUS, SMU, and NTU, but guess who is earning more than them now? Girl, it doesn’t matter.”
Meanwhile, others weren’t buying his explanation at all. They speculated that he had simply met someone new at university and was using her educational background as a convenient excuse to end the relationship.
One said, “Lol. Treating big 3 uni as if they were Ivy League. He probably cheated on you already and is too much of a coward to own up, so he made up some BS excuse to break up with you and made it your fault. No one with a brain thinks that big 3 are elite lol, and I’m from there.”
Another commented, “He already found someone else. The silver lining for you is that he’s not getting that S$10k and you’ll probably find someone who actually appreciates and deserves you.”/TISG
Follow Google News
Join us on WhatsApp
Follow us on Telegram