Woman fears introducing BF who studies at a ‘low-tier school’ to her family: ‘We’re from 2 different worlds’

SINGAPORE: Introducing a partner to your parents can feel like a major relationship milestone, but for one Singaporean woman, the thought of it fills her with dread because she’s convinced her family will never approve of the man she loves.

Posting on Reddit’s r/asksg forum, the woman, who is in her early 20s, shared that she has been dating her boyfriend for two years but still hasn’t found the courage to tell her parents about him.

According to her, he doesn’t fit what many traditional Asian parents might picture as the “ideal” son-in-law.

“He’s not like every typical Asian parent’s dream son-in-law or anything. He studies at a lower-tier school while I’m in uni, and his family situation isn’t the best/fortunate; hence, you can tell we’re like from 2 different worlds.”

She added that her relationship with her parents is already strained, making the prospect of introducing her boyfriend even more daunting.

“My relationship with my parents isn’t so great. They’re quite judgmental, and they don’t respect my privacy (looking through my things in my room whenever I’m not at home) despite me confronting them about it.”

“All I know is, if I were to ever introduce him to them, they’ll say he’s not a good guy or he’s just here to fool around, etc. Anyway, I just want to know y’all’s stories on how y’all introduce your partners to your parents.”

“It’s your life and your choice”

In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor suggested keeping the relationship private for now. “If your relationship with the parents is not great and you feel like you don’t want their judgement, then it’s best not to introduce so fast. You can try keeping it a secret until they nag at you for not having a partner, and then you can drop the bombshell on them.” 

“If you and your partner are serious, then hopefully in a few years his family/education status shouldn’t matter anymore once he gets a good-paying job and can provide for you and the family, which is usually what most parents hope for. By then, most likely, even if gets grilled about his history, he got credentials to back himself up.”

Another felt there was no need to introduce a partner until the relationship had become serious enough to discuss marriage.

“You don’t have to intro until you’re absolutely sure you’re getting married soon.”

A third added, “My perspective, even though I’m European, would be not to tell your parents. That said, I don’t fully understand the situation. Even if you do tell them and they don’t accept it, then what? It’s your life and your choice. You have the freedom to make your own decisions. They won’t change how they behave towards you, and with time, I guess they will finally accept it?”

In other news, a Singaporean woman has shared her outrage after her father, who dedicated 25 years to the same company, allegedly suffered multiple “mental breakdowns” after being placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).

Writing on Reddit on Wednesday (Aug 5), she said her father had spent nearly half his life helping to build the company.

Read more: ‘After 25 years, this is the thank you?’: Singapore woman outraged after father was put on a PIP following decades of service