Who needs a husband? China’s single moms are partnering with each other

CHINA: With the escalating divorce rates and the cost of living continuing to squash families’ everyday finances, single mothers in China have found an interesting and innovative way to deal with the difficulties of single parenting: Tilting towards each other, counting on each one’s presence.

In social media platforms such as Xiaohongshu—known globally as Rednote—mothers reach out to other mothers not just for information and guidance, but also for companionship, childcare tips, and even joint living agreements.

One post captures the sentiment perfectly: “I’m hoping to find another single mom to share an apartment with, so we can take care of each other. If our children are around the same age, that would be even better—they can be companions. Those raising kids alone know how tough it is; sometimes you’re so busy you barely have time to eat.”

While official data on this trend is scarce, the online presence is unmistakable. From posts seeking housemates to advice-sharing communities, a visible network of single mothers is emerging. With roughly 30 million single mothers in China and divorce rates four times higher than twenty years ago, these co-living arrangements aren’t just convenient—they’re a lifeline.

Shared homes, shared responsibilities

Zhu Danyu and Fei Yuan, both single mothers in Nanjing, have shared a home since 2022. Their partnership began when Zhu was looking for collaborators for her education start-up. Their children, close in age, quickly became companions. “At the core, we both know very clearly why we’re together—it’s about sharing and managing the risks and pressures of life,” Zhu explains.

According to experts, necessity is the main driving force behind these agreements. Dr Ye Liu of King’s College London stressed that economic burdens, inadequate state welfare, and nominal familial backing usually prompt single mothers to get into informal, digitally-organised webs.

Redefining ‘family’ in modern China

Thirty-one-year-old Jiang Mengyue left her hometown in Guizhou following her divorce and now shares a home with another single mother, Shi Mengyue. As a team, they preserve an organised set of chores that balance professional work and childcare—providing a good substitute to remarriage. “Since there’s no personal interest or benefit involved, this kind of relationship feels purer and simpler than marriage,” Jiang reflects.

In tackling the burdens of contemporary life and dealing with the anxieties of single motherhood, these mothers are inaudibly, yet decisively, redefining what family means in China—merging levelheadedness with community, flexibility with care, and ingenuity with love.