SINGAPORE: A discussion about money, friendship, and financial responsibility has emerged online after a man pursuing FIRE, or Financial Independence, Retire Early, shared how cutting back on spending has put him at odds with his own social circle.
In a post on the r/singaporefi subreddit, the man admitted that while he is committed to securing his financial future, especially with plans to settle down and start a family, his friends have made that goal difficult to stick to.
Detailing his situation, the man explained that he had spent years being “generous” with money, often splurging between “S$200 and S$300 on a single meal” and rarely setting a budget.
He said he was also comfortable spending on big-ticket items such as new technology and a car, and never felt the need to rein himself in.
Unfortunately for him, this pattern of spending created a lasting impression.
According to him, his friends now assume that he and his partner are always able, and willing, to “spend lavishly” whenever they go out together.
“They have a certain ‘expectation’ or ‘image’ of us being able to spend when we are out. For example, when they choose to drink but I don’t, they still expect me to split because ‘spending money once in a while is ok,’ and when I raise any budget-related stuff, they’ll say I’m ‘calculative.’”
“But I’m reflecting on my spending for the upcoming new year, and I am beginning to feel the pinch as I have a partner to settle down with and planning to have kids in the near future. Between my partner and me, it is easier; we eat less expensively, and we stop shopping.”
Seeking advice from the Reddit community, he wrote, “How do you deflate your lifestyle? Note that there’s not much significant decrease/increase in our income. But we hope to achieve FI or at least build a comfortable base to build our family on.”
“Stop impressing other people.”
In the discussion thread, many noted that the man’s friends seemed “pretty shallow” and advised him to remove them from his life.
One said, “If they do not support your FI goals, it is better to cut them out of your life. These friends, to me, are temporary and only there for a good time. Surround yourself with like-minded people, and your life will be much easier.”
Another advised, “Stop impressing other people. Invest in your upcoming family.”
A third commented, “How do you ‘deflate’ your lifestyle? You simply DO it. You don’t need anyone’s permission anyway. And you have to get used to or be comfortable with being perceived as ‘less well-to-do’ or ‘being petty/calculative’ or ‘being not generous enough’. How people perceive you does not and should not devalue what you have.”
A fourth suggested, “Go out less with your friends. Unfollow them on social media so you don’t feel the pressure to compare with them. Problem solved.”
In other news, a young Singaporean jobseeker went online to vent her utter disbelief upon discovering that the S$3,000 entry-level position she had been offered came with what she referred to as “unlimited unpaid overtime.”
Posting on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum, she explained that the contract presented to her included a clause stating that she would be required to “work public holidays and weekends if needed.”
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