Singaporean questions filial piety after giving his mum 20% of his salary for years

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean millennial has admitted he is starting to regret giving his mother a monthly allowance after realising just how much wealth he could have built had he invested the money over the years.

Posting on the Reddit forum r/singaporefi, the man shared that he has been giving his mother 20% of his take-home salary for decades.

“As a millennial, I have been giving for decades. But recently, I cannot help but imagine how much this sum of money would have helped my future self if only I had invested these monthly allowances into an ETF instead. The little amount that I had DCA over the years has seen a 45-50% growth.”

He also recalled that when he first started working, he spent a year saving S$10,000, only for his mother to ask him to hand it over to his brother and sister-in-law to help them buy their home.

Although it was presented as a “loan,” the money eventually became more of a “contribution” because he and his mother ended up living in the condominium.

“My mother and I did not have a place of our own to stay, so, in the end, the S$10k ‘loan’ became a contribution to the household. For a while, I also contributed to their quarterly condo maintenance. This has always been a resentment in me,” he wrote.

Looking ahead, he said that if he ever has children, he would never expect them to give him a monthly allowance simply because he raised them.

“If I ever decide to have a kid, I would never expect them to have to ‘pay me back’ a monthly allowance for raising them. I jolly well be sure I can be self-sufficient when I am old and retire instead of having to rely on my kid’’ monthly allowance.”

Wanting to hear what younger Singaporeans think, he asked, “Gen Z & millennials, how do you view ‘filial piety’, i.e. giving monthly allowance to your parents?”

“Give what you can”

Instead of offering sympathy or advice, several users criticised the post author for complaining about having to contribute towards his brother’s condo, where he and his mother lived.

One Redditor wrote, “If you resent it, why did you choose to stay at their house? Poor people mindset, wants the best of everything but grumbles at everything. People like you need no help from us lar.”

Another said, “This makes no sense at all. If you and the mother do not have a house, you basically contribute 10k to live in a condo, and you complain about it?”

As for the monthly allowance, a few users advised the post author to give only what he can realistically afford going forward.

One said, “Give what you can.. you don’t owe your parents a living. Their generation is lucky to have us… How many of us will have that in the future? Most of us are single or DINKS.”

Another wrote, “It’s important to set personal boundaries, at least this is a lesson learnt so moving forward you should make it clear that you’re not paying for their things.”

In other news, a Singaporean employee has claimed that her company’s HR department is pressuring her to sign a separation agreement tied to what she says is a “small retrenchment package.”

In a post on Reddit, the employee said she has refused to sign the agreement because the wording is confusing and she has been given little guidance on what it actually requires of her.

Read more: ‘Can they do this to me?’: Singaporean seeks help after being asked to sign retrenchment agreement within 3 days