SINGAPORE: A 42-year-old Singaporean took to social media to share that he’s torn between hanging on to his S$9,500-a-month job and walking away to protect his mental health.
Writing on the r/askSingapore forum, the man revealed that he has been itching to hand in his resignation for some time.
However, one major concern continues to hold him back: the fear that leaving now could mean never earning the same salary again.
“I know that if I leave, I’ll probably never command this salary again,” he wrote. “I don’t have a strong academic background, so I feel I’ve been fortunate to reach this income through experience and networking.”
The downside
While the pay has kept him and his family financially comfortable, he said it’s come at the expense of his wellbeing.
According to the man, his mental health has been suffering since the company went through some “major changes,” with workloads piling up, colleagues resigning, and the remaining staff left to shoulder the additional work.
“I’m constantly under stress since my work has been piling up, and heck, I don’t even know when the replacement is coming.”
“Even when I’m on leave, I carry my laptop everywhere and end up working. My family has been affected too—I find myself becoming impatient and sometimes lashing out at my wife and my 5.5-year-old child, which I always regret afterwards.”
He added that for the past two months, he’s been waking up automatically at around 6.30am every morning with work immediately on his mind, regardless of whether he went to bed at 11pm, 2am, or even 3am.
Financially, he’ll survive
Unlike many people who feel trapped by their finances, the man said money isn’t his biggest concern. He and his wife recently bought a resale HDB flat and are due to move in next month.
Their CPF savings, he said, are enough to cover at least 10 years of mortgage payments.
On top of that, he has around S$350,000 in investments and another S$330,000 in savings.
Another job opportunity
Adding to his dilemma, the man said that he had already received another job offer.
However, the role pays only about half of his current salary.
“Based on the job scope, I believe it would give me a much better work-life balance and allow me to actually spend time with my family,” he wrote. “But I’m really torn.”
“Part of me says I should continue enduring because jobs paying S$9.5k aren’t easy to come by, especially at my age without strong qualifications. The other part says no amount of money is worth sacrificing my health and my relationship with my family.”
Unable to decide, he asked Singaporeans for advice. “Has anyone here taken a significant pay cut for a better quality of life? Looking back, do you regret it, or was it the right decision? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.”
“A 50% pay cut with a five-year old kid is insane”
Many Reddit users said they could understand why the man was considering leaving, especially given the toll his job was taking on his mental health and family life.
However, several also pointed out that taking the lower-paying role came with its own risks and urged him to think the decision through carefully.
One commenter noted that there was no guarantee the new company would actually offer the better work-life balance he was hoping for.
“What if the WLB in the new company didn’t turn out as expected?” they said. “Whatever they might have told you or what you think of their WLB, all of these can change once you join. But the salary, once you accept, cannot change so easily. So a 50% pay cut for the ‘promise’ of better WLB is wild.”
The commenter then suggested he should “lie flat” at his current company by doing only what is required of him while continuing to look for a better opportunity.
Another urged him to “set clear boundaries at work,” adding, “Don’t take your laptop with you when on leave. Come on time and leave on time, do not give more than that. What happens at work stays at work. Don’t bring the negativity home.”
A third pointed out, “Money isn’t everything, but a 50% pay cut with a five-year-old kid is insane… I mean, technically, you have the savings and can do it, but think about your retirement and long term—which also affects how much freedom your kid has, by the way, in choosing what they want to do with life. Especially if your spouse isn’t also working/earning much.”
Meanwhile, others suggested looking at alternatives before making such a major decision. Some recommended taking a sabbatical or an extended break to recover from burnout, while others felt he should sit down with his wife and carefully discuss the options.
One said, “Discuss it with your wife? If she is okay with the drop in household income? No one knows how you really spend money as a household.”
Another wrote, “Whichever choice you go for, just remember that it must be a choice made in tandem with your wife’s support. As my wife likes to say, you can’t buy health and time with your loved ones.”/TISG
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