‘Simply too lazy and addicted to her phone’: SG mother says she’s traumatised after hiring difficult maid, asks Reddit how to cope without one

SINGAPORE: Parents often hire domestic helpers to make life easier, but one mother has gone online to reveal that hers has done nothing but make things more stressful.

On Monday (Mar 6), she posted on the r/SingaporeRaw forum, saying her maid is “simply too lazy and addicted to her phone.” She added that the helper refuses to follow simple instructions, is rude to her in-laws, and has lied to the family. The worst part, she said, is that her maid stole money from them.

“I’m just too traumatised by this episode,” she wrote, adding that she plans to get rid of the helper soon.

Seeking help, she asked other parents how they manage childcare without domestic help. “Parents of children without maids, how do you cope? If both of you work normal hours and your child goes to preschool, how do you manage?” she wrote.

She then listed the daily responsibilities that have to be handled, which include getting her child ready for school at 7 a.m., sending them off at 8 a.m., preparing dinner by 4 p.m., picking them up from school at 5 p.m., bathing them at 6 p.m., serving dinner at 7 p.m., and putting them to bed at 9 p.m.

“We survive with strong routines and a part-time helper…”

In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor questioned whether the maid was entirely at fault, pointing out, “Too lazy? You just listed a 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. schedule, a 14-hour shift by my maths.” 

Another commenter took the employer’s side and suggested that she should take formal action and report the maid to the agency, especially given the allegations of dishonesty and theft

The mother, however, appeared reluctant to escalate the matter. She replied, “Just gonna foot her airfares, send her back and end things amicably.”

Others, meanwhile, shifted the conversation and began sharing their own experiences of coping without a helper.

One parent shared, “I take turns with my partner to drop off/fetch our kid from school and share responsibility with them, e.g., morning time is my responsibility, but evening is my partner’s (it includes helping my kid go to sleep, bedtime stories, etc).”

Another wrote, “I have two kids, both of us work full time, and we have no helper. We had the childcare centre near our workplace, which relieves a lot of stress, so we don’t have to rush after work to pick them up and also get to spend time together in the car to and fro, which gives us an extra hour or so every day to talk and get them to tell us about their days.”

A third added, “I have 3 kids, no helper. We survive with strong routines and a part-time helper to clean and do the ironing. Things that help are cooking things that the whole family can eat (gets pretty bland when the toddler joins the table, haha, but what to do), mastering simple recipes, and also being mindful ourselves to not burn time mindlessly scrolling and avoiding going to bed late (overtired parents burn out and all routines crash).”

In other news, a newlywed man says he is growing increasingly uneasy after his mother began hinting that she expects to live in the new home he and his wife have just acquired.

Writing on Reddit’s r/asksingapore forum, he explained that both he and his wife have always been clear about wanting a place of their own.

Read more: Newlywed Singapore man uneasy as mum hints at moving into his new home