‘Sick of it’: Man rants about his girlfriend’s habit of cluttering their home with unnecessary items, seeks advice on Reddit

SINGAPORE: A man shared on social media that he’s “getting sick” of his girlfriend’s behaviour of cluttering their home with unnecessary items.

Writing on the r/askSingapore forum on Tuesday (Jul 1), he explained in a now-deleted post that his girlfriend has a habit of buying things on impulse. Not expensive items, but just random things that catch her eye, even if she rarely uses them. Over time, their home has become packed with unused items filling shelves, drawers, tables, and corners, collecting dust.

He shared that his girlfriend grew up having to share everything with her family, including her room, wardrobe, and study table. On the other hand, he said that even though his own family had less money, his parents always made sure he had his own space, and he grew up being used to keeping things organised.

After moving in with her, he tried to be understanding, especially since the house is under her name. “I sort of let her do what she wants. And this house is under her name currently, so I feel she deserves to do what she wants in her own house,” he said.

Still, he occasionally brought up how he would prefer a home with fewer unnecessary items, but his feedback often went unheard.

“I will nag at her about her habits and explain to her how I would prefer a home with fewer things that we don’t need or use, which all falls into deaf ears,” he wrote. “It’s never a good time to really talk about this, too, cuz she has no time or is stressed or not feeling well, or the worst is gaslighting me with ‘we are having a good time. Why do you always ruin it?’”

What upsets him the most, though, is when she shifts his belongings while claiming to clean. He admits he sometimes leaves his things around because he doesn’t have enough space to store them properly, but he gets frustrated when she moves them and then forgets where she placed them.

“I’ve tried to adapt and move on regarding this because I still love her, but when I’m in a bad mood or stressed and see her buy more stuff or move my things, oh god, I want to break off with her and move out.”

“Respecting each other’s space is very important.”

His post received a mix of reactions, with some empathising with his situation and others urging him to have a serious conversation with his partner before the resentment builds further.

One Redditor said, “Dude, it’s a big problem that you rather come to Reddit and write this big ass text than talking to her. Raise it, if she cannot compromise, it’s over.”

Another explained, “She’s just compensating for the situation that she was in when she was younger/growing up. My mom is like that. Didn’t have much growing. So when she got married, she got everything she wanted, and having that reminds her that everything she acquires is precious. This habit will eventually go away, but it takes time and lots of reminders.”

A third wrote, “Communication is key. When I want to clean up, I just talk to her beforehand. Anything I see that is out of place, I will leave it in one corner of the room. Same goes for my stuff as well. I even have a basket for ‘if you used this recently, you can keep it.’”

“You really have to talk it out. I know it’s frustrating and you want to nag at her every time you clean, but respecting each other’s space is very important. If in the end she still doesn’t respect you, well, desperate measures liao lor.”

In other news, a man felt disappointed upon learning that his friend, a mechanical engineering graduate, was earning just S$3,000 a month.

On Sunday (Jun 29), he took to the r/askSingapore subreddit to seek advice from others. In his post, he explained that on top of the low salary, the job also requires employees to work half-days on Saturdays and offers only a fixed bonus of S$1,000.

Read more: ‘Only S$3k?’ Man questions why engineering grad friend is paid so little

Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)