SINGAPORE: A man is contemplating walking away from his long-term relationship after his partner told him she is “perfectly fine being single” just before their anniversary.
In an anonymous post on the NUSWhispers Facebook page on Friday (Aug 21), the man said his partner had repeatedly expressed, both publicly and privately, that she was happy being single and comfortable figuring out life independently.
According to him, she said having a partner was “nice” because it meant having companionship, but she did not see being in a relationship as something she needed in order to be happy. She also reportedly felt that a DINK (double income, no kids) lifestyle was the “optimal solution”.
When he tried to understand what she meant, he said she told him that this was a “sentiment shared by many local women.”
For the man, however, hearing this from his long-term partner was difficult to swallow.
He said he had put a lot into the relationship over the years, often putting her needs before his own.
“I’ve pretty much given my all in this relationship, sacrificing my time, mental health (Always there for her when she needs me while bottling up my own issues) and money (I’ve been paying 90% of dates/dinners/events) and choosing my words wisely as my partner does not have the best mental health or family situation.”
“But to be given a confirmation that I’m the only one yearning like a fool and putting in effort like a f***ing simp in the relationship and that my effort would have made no difference has me reconsidering things.”
The timing made the situation even harder for him to process.
The couple have an upcoming anniversary and birthday celebration planned, and he said he had already made arrangements for both. He had also apparently been thinking ahead and had plans to apply for a BTO with her.
“Right now I just wanna cancel everything and walk away from it all. Why should I have to deal with a partner that feels like love is a chore.”
“Please tell me I’m reading too much into this,” he added, seemingly hoping that other Singaporeans would reassure him that he had misunderstood his partner’s words.
‘Open communication is the way forward’
In the comments, many readers told the man to take his partner’s words seriously instead of simply brushing them off.
One user encouraged him to leave the relationship, saying, “Let her be single and figure out her life, lor. When she is so comfortably receiving all the care and attention without having to put in any effort in a relationship, meaning she is taking you for granted, to her, you need her more than she needs you.”
Another asked him, “Why waste your money and time on someone who doesn’t treasure your presence in their life? They want to show they are strong, set the stage for them to be. Then they will see if they really are as strong as they say.”
A few others, however, felt he should have an honest conversation with his girlfriend before making any decisions about the relationship.
One commenter suggested that her remarks could stem from her own fears about eventually being left alone.
“Maybe she saw in you the inevitable solitude? That you might one day change and leave her? Talk to her and tell her how you feel about her hurtful statements tat she’s okay to be alone. Open communication is the way forward in a loving relationship.”
In other news, a Vietnamese woman sought the opinions of Singaporeans after her husband repeatedly insisted that the habits she finds suspicious are perfectly normal because, according to him, “everyone in Singapore lives like this.”
After hearing that line one too many times during their arguments, she decided to fact-check it with Singaporeans themselves.
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