My parents called me ‘stupid’ for buying an apartment overseas for less than S$200k

SINGAPORE: For many people, paying off a home in full would be a moment worth celebrating. For one Singaporean, however, it ended with a telling-off from his parents.

In an anonymous post on the SGWhispers Facebook group, the man shared that he had recently bought an apartment overseas after relocating there for work. Better yet, he paid for the property entirely in cash, without taking on a mortgage or any long-term debt.

To him, it was a milestone nearly 10 years in the making.

The man said he spent close to a decade saving relentlessly, putting aside every dollar he could and skipping holidays along the way. While friends were travelling and enjoying the occasional splurge, he focused on building enough savings to eventually own a place of his own.

Naturally, he expected his parents to be pleased when he finally shared the news.

“It’s a huge achievement for me, I worked for maybe almost 10 years at this point to get here, [but] parents called me stupid, why can’t I just come back and buy resale, why didn’t I take a loan, why didn’t I just invest, etc.. It’s a humble place under 200,000 SGD. I can’t buy anything with 200,000 in Singapore, and I don’t want to loan because I don’t want the stress of financing something long-term.”

For him, the decision was never about buying a flashy property or chasing investment returns. It was about securing a roof over his head and creating a stable foundation without the burden of debt hanging over him for years.

While he acknowledged that S$200,000 is still a significant amount of money, he felt it was a reasonable price to pay for peace of mind.

However, when he informed his parents about this, they reprimanded him, called him “stupid,” and asked, “why he couldn’t just come back, buy a resale flat, why he didn’t opt to take a loan, or why he didn’t just invest the money elsewhere.”

“Apparently, wanting a stress-free life is childish to them. S$200,000 is not a small sum, yes, but it’s not a lot either. As job stability is not quite there from the start, I find it more pressing to settle down ASAP and work to build stability for myself without strings.”

His cautious outlook, he added, was shaped in part by stories from the 2008 financial crisis and the financial struggles some families faced when circumstances changed unexpectedly.

“I have friends whose parents had the exact same thing happen to them during 2008. I don’t want to lose everything overnight,” he wrote. “I keep this to myself as my Singaporean community is naysayers and I don’t really have anyone to share with.”

“Everyone lives their lives differently.”

In the comments section, one netizen encouraged him not to dwell too much on his parents’ remarks. 

“Your money, you decide. If they want to kpkb and make decisions for you, then they better put up the cash,” they wrote.

Another commenter felt it might just be a classic case of generational differences between older and younger Singaporeans.

They added that if they were in the author’s shoes, they would probably also take the chance to move overseas.

“Personally, I’d also want to move overseas if I could land a job overseas. I think many of us do,” they said. “I don’t feel optimistic about the future of SG. If I have any kids myself, I’d send them overseas to study and then find jobs and migrate there rather than stay here.”

A third individual commended the post author’s mindset and courage to go after something he wanted, even if it wasn’t in line with what his parents wanted.

They added, “Everyone lives their lives differently; there is no one right blueprint for doing so. You achieved the stability you want by doing this, and now you have no fear of retrenchment or the financial state of the world since you always have a place to return to. Most Singaporeans don’t want to retire in Singapore anyway.”

Not everyone was critical of the parents, however.

One netizen suggested that their reaction may have stemmed less from the property purchase itself and more from the fear of their son settling down permanently overseas.

“I think deep inside, your parents are also afraid you will never return to Singapore. The more independent the children are, the more insecure some parents may feel, especially now with a smaller family size.”

In other news, one Singaporean man is wondering whether love alone is enough to save his relationship after his fiancée told him that earning S$100,000 a year still isn’t “sufficient.”

The 30-year-old shared his situation on the r/asksg forum on Wednesday (May 27), saying he and his partner have been together for five years and are due to wed in the next few months.

Read also: SG man says earning around S$100K a year is still not enough for his fiancée, who compares him to people making S$30K to S$40K a month