‘My mum spent S$100k repaying their loans’: Man says brother’s debts have devastated his family

SINGAPORE: A man took to social media to share that his elderly parents have spent S$100,000 paying off his younger brother’s debts after he allegedly borrowed from loan sharks to support his foreign wife’s lavish lifestyle.

Posting on Reddit, the man said his 35-year-old brother, who works as a technician in a factory, has been supporting his Filipina wife for years.

Even before the couple tied the knot, his brother was allegedly footing the bill for his wife’s shopping, regularly giving her money for “new clothes, shoes and designer bags.” Whenever she was unemployed, he would also give her cash to send back to her family in the Philippines.

“That Pinoy (Filipino) has 2 kids back in her country. She has been sending all her salary back to the Philippines and uses my brother’s salary as her expenses here in Singapore.”

“Even when she’s between jobs or out of job, she still wants my brother to send money to her family back in the Philippines and continue her shopping habits. She’s also constantly travelling back and forth to the Philippines like it’s JB.”

The man shared that his sister-in-law quit her job in the F&B sector after she became pregnant.

Unfortunately, the shopping sprees never stopped.

They borrowed from loansharks

Eventually, the situation became so financially strained that his brother could no longer keep up. 

Rather than cutting back on expenses, the man claimed his sister-in-law encouraged him to borrow money to continue funding their lifestyle.

His brother allegedly ended up taking loans from a loan shark, while his sister-in-law is also said to have borrowed money herself.

“This whole thing exploded when the loan shark wanted payment from my brother and my brother has not a single cent left in his bank. This loan shark thingy continues to happen during these 2 years.”

As the debts snowballed, the burden eventually fell on their parents, who have since spent around S$100,000 trying to bail the couple out. 

“To date, I think my mom has spent S$100k repaying all their loans. That Pinoy really has no shame in threatening my mom with the baby in her belly. She asked my mom to settle her latest loan and she will leave after giving birth to the baby.”

The root cause

While much of his frustration was directed at his sister-in-law, the man said his brother was also to blame for allowing the situation to continue.

“I know the root cause is my brother; he allowed all these to happen. And my mom also continues to repay their debts, which is why they don’t feel a pinch. Having said all that, I absolutely have no control over what my brother thinks and does.” 

“He’s always doing what that Pinoy told him. On my mom’s side, no matter what I told her, she’s always on the soft side—I don’t agree with what she did, but I understand her too. That’s her son.”

Feeling stuck, the man turned to Reddit for advice, asking if there was any legal way to protect his parents and distance them from the couple.

“What can I do legally to get these 2 out of my parent’s life? Or is there any way that I can get that Pinoy out of my parents’ house or even back to the Philippines? What can I do to help my parents? My parents’ hearts are so broken because of him.”

Reddit users say situation unlikely to change

Commenters responding to the post said the situation was difficult to resolve unless the family dynamics changed.

Some described it as a “hopeless case,” while others pointed to the brother and mother as the main reasons the cycle continued.

One commenter wrote that the brother was the cause of the issue, while the mother was “the enabler.”

Another suggested that he leave the house for his own good. “Sadly, leave them. and strive out on your own. Good luck.”

Meanwhile, a third user advised, “Maybe start making plans for the worst-case scenario. Who owns the HDB that your mother is staying in? Please try to keep an eye on stopping your mother from selling the HDB/transferring ownership to your bro.” 

“Also, if your mother has some money with you, keep it safe. If not, maybe try to persuade and safeguard some for her, as she might end up penniless after this (and yes, it will still end up as your problem). Same thing with her jewellery, etc.”/TISG

Read also: Man says he feels ‘cheated’ after uncle asked him and brothers to chip in S$1.5k each for grandmother’s funeral cost