SINGAPORE: A man who aspires to be the ‘house husband’ in his future family has been slammed online for stating that he wants a ‘girlfriend in Singapore who earns more than him.’
In a post on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit on Thursday (Oct 2), he wrote: “Why do I have to earn more than my girlfriend? I want a girlfriend who earns more than me. If I want to have children in the future, it’s pretty much a necessity for her to earn more than me to support us, since I’m not earning much.”
Justifying his expectations, the man explained that he is perfectly willing to take on the traditional role of a wife, from cooking and cleaning to managing the household and being the primary caregiver, as long as his future spouse takes on the role of the main breadwinner.
However, despite this arrangement seeming straightforward to him, he said that finding such a partner in Singapore has been far from easy.
According to him, the majority of women in the city-state do not appear to care about how loving, emotionally supportive, or competent a man is at home or with children. What seems to matter most to them is how much a man earns.
“I don’t see women caring about this. What I see is women complaining about having to be the caregivers, but they don’t look for men willing to take the burden off them,” he said.
“The message they are sending is that men are not capable of anything outside of making money, and if we don’t earn much, we are useless. Why won’t most women value men for what we can do outside of our jobs?” he added.
Anticipating that some might ask why he doesn’t simply seek a higher-paying job, the man said that this is ‘because he values stability and flexibility’ more than chasing a bigger salary.
Besides, the man observed that women here often say they “need a higher-earning husband to start a family,” yet no one ever judges them.
“People usually don’t tell those women to look for a better-paying job; they accept that the women’s flexible jobs are an advantage when it comes to child caregiving, and that can apply to men as well,” he argued.
“I don’t mean to generalise all women, and I still believe there is a woman out there who’s compatible with me, but what I said is representative of the majority of women in SG.”
“Stability and emotionally supportive? That’s all?”
In the comments, several users criticised the man for failing to see just how much women sacrifice. They pointed out that being a woman, especially when raising a family, isn’t just about “demanding” a husband’s money and keeping the house in order.
It comes with constant physical and emotional labour, serious risks during pregnancy, sleepless nights, mental stress, and a lot of unpaid work that rarely gets recognised.
One wrote, “You can’t get pregnant, you’re not able to bear the majority of the physical implications and mental side effects that come along with it and afterwards. Men often severely underestimate what women go through during and after pregnancy.”
They added, “If the woman has to work, worry about making enough to support a household, give birth while still being expected to be the primary caregiver of the child (yes, this is still often the case), what exactly do you bring to the table?”
Another user commented, “What do you put on the table? Stability and emotional support? That’s all? We get that from our husband that earns x2 more than us, and still pitches in when it comes to kids. Do better.”
A third asked him, “How are you so certain that you are more stable, loving, and emotionally supportive than other men who earn more than you? I’m sure there are higher calibre men who earn more and also have higher EQ than you, so instead of making posts like this on Reddit, why don’t you go and find ways your value can be demonstrated better.”
A fourth added, “You want a girlfriend who can earn more than you, but what can you provide for your girlfriend?”
Still, amid the wave of criticism, there were a few users who seemed to grasp where the man was coming from and offered some words of sympathy.
One commenter wrote, “I am very sorry to say that while most people will admire a career woman, almost no one will admire a house husband. Sorry, buddy, that is just how things are.”
In other news, a 23-year-old fresh grad confessed on social media that she feels “like she’s working for nothing” each time S$1,800 is deducted from her monthly paycheck to repay her student loans.
In a candid post shared on the r/singaporefi subreddit on Wednesday (Sep 30), the young professional disclosed that although her gross monthly income is S$4,750, her take-home pay is only about S$3,800 after deductions.
Out of this sum, she said nearly half is immediately siphoned away as an automatic repayment towards her student loans, leaving her with just about S$2,000 to manage the rest of her monthly living expenses.
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