Man says his wife wants him to marry her best friend, asks ‘What can I do now?’

SINGAPORE – A man took to social media asking for advice because his wife of five years wanted him to marry her best friend as well.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man wrote a disclaimer: “I hope none of you start debating about the rulings in my religion. I know polygamy isn’t a sweet topic but I hope none will say anything bad my religion. Just asking for opinion and advice here regarding my situation”. 

He explained that according to his “religion (Islam), it is permissible for the man to marry up to 4 wives, but it is not reccomended (sic) cause he needs to do justice amongst them. So the polygamy life is not for everyone. And certainly not for me”.

He added that he had been married for five years and had two children with her. Things were happy and going well for them initially because his wife did not want him to marry anyone else.

“Months ago, her bestfriend (sic) got a divorce from her ex husband. They’ve been meeting each other a lot to talk about it and to be there for her. Now her bestfriend (sic) is pretty lost as she has about 2 kids to care for without the father. Few days ago, my wife asked me directly, “Would you like to marry my bestfriend (sic)?”. I’m confused, I thought it’s a test, but either way, I said no”, the man wrote.

He added that his wife explained that if he married her best friend, she too would have someone to care for her, and her friend’s children would also be part of their family.

When the man eavesdropped on his wife’s conversation with her best friend, “My wife said to her that I didn’t want to be in polygamy, but she wants to try to convince me to be in one for her best friend (sic). Her bestfriend (sic) said to not force me to make her the 2nd wife and who knows if I’ll change my mind later. Her bestfriend (sic) said it’ll just be great if it really happens, but if not, she’ll find some other ways”.

The man added that usually, the roles would be reversed where men would be marrying another without their wife’s knowledge, but in his situation, things were different. He wrote that he had nothing against his wife’s best friend.

“I knew her for years, I know she’s a great person, and I admit, she is pretty (My wife is prettier to my eyes anyways). But, I really really don’t wish to be in polygamy as I’m scared if I can’t do justice amongst them. Financially, yes, I can do, but still, in my heart, I really just don’t want to. What can I do now?” the man asked.

In less than a day, his post drew over 150 reactions and more than 200 comments. Netizens urged the man to follow his heart and said he could still help his wife’s best friend without marrying her.

Here’s what they wrote: