Man says his parents weaponize filial piety through guilt manipulation & emotional blackmail to dissuade him, asks for advice

One man, in his 30s, took to social media, Reddit to write about how his parents have weaponized filial piety against him “as a form of emotional blackmail,” and asked if others have experienced the same.

“We all heard of weaponized incompetence, but has anyone encountered weaponized filial piety?” he wrote.

The post from Dry-Contribution-661 on r/singapore on Monday (Oct 31) found a lot of sympathy from fellow Redditors, who weighed in to tell him that weaponized filial piety is “definitely a thing.”

In his case, he wanted to move out and rent a place elsewhere, “to have my own quiet time and space. One reason out of many is that my parents at home tend to blast their TVs and radios loud. Worst is that they will hog the Smart TV till 12mn and by then, I am already too tired to even use it.”

Unfortunately, this made his parents low-key unhappy, and they began to hint about asking who would take care of them and teach them how to use the computer if he moves out.

“You know, passive-aggressive behaviour to dissuade me from moving out. Ffs, I am sharing a bedroom with 2 other siblings and I can’t sleep well because my siblings (understandably) have to use the room to do their work (WFH) till late,” he added.

Furthermore, his parents complain that compared to others, the allowance he gives is too small. “Even asked whether I hiding money from them (which I am not) and then say I am not that filial compared to others.”

His friend has an even worse example. The friend’s mother chastises him for giving her a smaller allowance than his elder brother, who got a bigger income.

“During CNY gathering, his mother will cook elder brother’s favourite meals while not bothering about what my friend wants to eat,” he added.

Commenters on his post are no strangers to “weaponized filial piety,” they told him.

Many advised the poster to “just move out.”

One Redditor tried to understand where parents are coming from. “I think weaponised filial piety is a byproduct of the notion that the boomer generation had that they had to be all-sacrificial for their children. I’ve seen many, many, boomer parents raise their kids at the sake of their own personal lives, careers (especially moms) and development – then when their kids grow up they expect to ‘reap what they sow’.”

/TISG

Netizens salute parents of 12yo SG whiz kid working toward advanced degrees in math & music