SINGAPORE: A man took to Reddit to ask Singaporeans, “How much pocket money should a husband give to his wife?”
In his post on the r/SGHenry forum on Friday (Dec 20), the man shared that he and his wife are working and contributing to their household finances.
“My pay is around S$2-3K higher than hers (per month basis). I don’t track annual compensation,” he wrote. “We both contribute to our joint account, and it’s mainly used for our monthly mortgage, childcare expenses, and for cash flow.”
Recently, however, his wife dropped a hint about something she’d noticed other husbands doing: giving their wives a monthly allowance, even when they don’t ask for it. This left him wondering if he should be doing the same and, if so, what the “market rate” might be.
Feeling unsure and wanting to get a sense of how other couples handle similar situations, he asked the Reddit community:
“Where should I start? Would 10-20% of my pay make sense? Or a fixed monthly amount depending on circumstances?” he said. “Sorry. I’m not sure where to ask, but I guess this place will give the most sensible answer. Thanks in advance.”
“If she is working, ZERO!”
Many Singaporean Redditors weren’t keen on the idea of the man giving his wife “pocket money” or a monthly allowance, especially since she’s also working and contributing to their household finances.
To them, it just didn’t make sense in a dual-income household where both partners earn their own money.
Some also felt that this practice was a bit outdated, pointing out that it probably made more sense back in the day when men were the sole breadwinners.
One Redditor said, “Not sure where this 1980s mindset is coming from. Is this just fun money, or is it actually going toward household expenses? It is 2024, not 40 years ago. And if you are HENRYs, it makes this whole thing even weirder.”
Another commented, “If she is working, ZERO. You can offer to pay for certain things as goodwill, but there should not be this expectation.”
Interestingly, some wives and stay-at-home mums joined the discussion to share their perspectives. Many of them said they’d never asked their husbands for a monthly allowance, even if they weren’t earning their own income.
Instead, they explained that when they wanted to buy something for themselves or a larger household item, they would simply have an open discussion with their husbands to see if the purchase was feasible.
One Redditor shared, “I have never asked for an allowance from my husband, even when I cut my pay by half doing part-time hours for the sake of caregiving. And heck even when I was totally out of a job and hence SAHM.”
Still, a few said that before making any rash decisions, the man should speak to his wife about this and ask why she feels a monthly allowance is necessary.
One Redditor added, “Maybe she feels she has insufficient after making joint contributions to joint accounts? Talk logically with no emotions, but be sensitive to hers.”
In other news, a woman found herself in a difficult position after her boyfriend’s mother informed her that she wanted to “put her name in their BTO.”
She shared the story on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum on Thursday (Dec 19), hoping to get advice from others.
“Her reasoning is that she ‘needs protection.’ She explained that if we all stay together in the BTO and my boyfriend and I divorce in the future, her family would risk losing the house, as it would likely be sold and the proceeds split between us,” she wrote.
Read more: My BF’s mother wants to put her name in our BTO, what should I do?
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)