SINGAPORE: When you hire a domestic helper to keep your home in order, you don’t expect them to dive into your daughter’s Pacifica Beauty stash, crank up the air-con like it’s free, or leave your fridge looking like a war zone. But that’s exactly what happened to one frustrated employer, who shared her experience in a fiery Facebook post in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper group. The post has since sparked a heated debate among Singaporeans and foreign domestic workers alike.
“Does anyone else experience the same?” the maid’s employer asked and added, “My helper is using my daughter’s makeup and hair creams, etc, when we are out. She lies a lot at the drop of a hat. Switches on our ACs when we are out. Eats most of the food. When we come back, there won’t be enough food for us. Why do these helpers lie so much? Why can’t they do their work honestly and sincerely?”
That bombshell post was met with a mix of outrage, sympathy, and eyebrow-raising replies from employers and helpers who had a few things of their own to say.
“Not all helpers are like that…”
While the employer is clearly fed up, many commenters were quick to say not all helpers are like that.
“Don’t say helpers!” one group member shot back. “Talk about your own helper who you think is doing bad things.”
Another commenter who shared similar struggles said, “Mine turns on the aircon and opens windows 🤣. When confronted, she says, ‘No, I didn’t turn it on.’ My husband caught her using my face cream, but she still says ‘no ma’am…’ I had had enough of this nonsense and am mentally exhausted.”
This led her to go maidless. “I’m happier now and my house is back to normal,” she declared.
“Do you give her enough food?”
But not everyone pointed fingers. Some asked whether the maid was actually getting enough food.
“Do you give her enough food?” one commenter asked bluntly. “Hungry people can do anything negative,” she explained further.
Another wrote about her helper, “For the maids here, food is never enough. My helper ate 80% of our food, and it was still not enough.”
On the flip side, a grateful helper shared, “Whatever [my employer] buys for herself, she buys for me too. No question about food, whatever is in the kitchen or fridge, I am allowed to eat.”
“Don’t leave your helper to go hungry. Then she won’t learn to lie or steal food…”
Many agreed on one point: Communication and clear boundaries are key. “Set some boundaries at home. If she doesn’t follow, then complain to her agency,” advised one.
Others advocated empathy and fairness: “Treat her well, and she will definitely treat you better… Or no need to hire a helper. It’s that simple.”
One helper wisely wrote: “We as helpers also need to understand. Not all employers are the same… balance is the key.”
And perhaps the most grounded advice of all: “Control your AC using apps on your phone. Leave food for her. Don’t leave your helper to go hungry. Then she won’t learn to lie or steal food.”
One bad experience doesn’t mean the whole bunch is rotten
It’s tempting to generalise when frustration boils over. But one bad experience doesn’t mean the whole bunch is rotten. Just like not all employers are angels, not all helpers are devils.
Some helpers genuinely overstep, but others are pushed to their limits—starved, scolded, overworked—and still expected to act like saints.
If there’s one viral takeaway from this social media storm, it’s this: A household works best when both sides are treated with fairness, clarity, and some basic decency.
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