Maid tells employers, ‘We helpers are not asking for extra pay to serve your visitors, but at least they can say thank you to us, and not give us their black face’

SINGAPORE: In the Lion City, the skyline isn’t the only thing that’s high—so are the expectations some employers and their guests have of domestic helpers.

A Facebook post in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper group is striking a chord with countless foreign domestic workers who feel taken for granted, not by their employers, but by their employers’ guests. The post begins politely, but packs a powerful punch:

“This is for employers who like their friends and relatives to visit or stay at their house to enjoy the scenic views in Singapore. We helpers are not asking for extra pay to serve your visitors, such as serving them food, washing and folding their clothes, and sometimes even ironing their clothes. We can do the same for them as we do for you, but please lah, when they leave your house, tell them to at least say thank you to us… WE WILL APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH, YOU KNOW!!! BUT THEY DON’T!!! SOME MORE GIVING US A BLACK FACE!!! WHY AH???”

The comment section then became the opening act to a show of grievances, laughter, and some very raw truth.

“Same here… they just go without saying bye and thank you…”

One helper recounted her brush with the cold shoulder: “Same here… they just go without saying bye and thank you.”

Another recalled a bizarre moment when her employer’s visiting relative whispered in Mandarin, “How much should I give to the helper?”—only for the mother to snap back, “Aiyah, no need to give lah!” while throwing a black face.

The helper then explained, “I understand Mandarin, why talk like that in front of me?! After hearing that, I shouted with a happy tone: Ok, ok, Grab car coming already! Go, go, faster go! After that, I help them push the luggage.”

Many helpers said they aren’t looking for tips—just basic decency, as one pleaded, “At least give us a smile or thank you.”

Still, some guests do break the stereotype as one helper recalled: “The cousin of my madam from China… he is a captain… I prepare food for him, and then, in the morning, I make him breakfast. He said, ‘Thank you for the very delicious food,’ and gave me US$100. He is a kind person and very professional.”

“Our boss friend also thinks we are their maids…”

Others shared horror stories from guest invasions—guests treating the home like a free hotel, leaving chaos behind, and expecting five-star service from helpers earning a basic salary.

One helper revealed: “Our boss friend also thinks we are their maids… the rooms were upside down the day they left. So much washing had to be done, but the kids don’t even say thank you when they leave.”

And another was even worse: “When I went into the guest’s room to clean up, there was no space to put your foot on the floor—underwear, bra, clothes everywhere… they went out for dinner until late at night. CAME BACK DRUNK AND THREW UP IN THE BATHROOM. WE HELPERS THEM HAVE TO CLEAN SOME MORE.”

It was even enough to test the patience of a saint.

“If they don’t know how to appreciate, don’t do extra work…”

One helper said she drew a firm boundary: “If they don’t know how to appreciate, don’t do extra work. We are only paid to work for the family that is written under the contract.”

And for employers who defend themselves, some weighed in with a different perspective: “When I bring my helper over to parties, I tell her what she can do and what she should not do so that she won’t be bullied by others… my relatives usually give her extra $$$ for helping with the dishes.”

Still, the most heartbreaking story from a helper may be this one: “My employer brought me to a relative’s party… about 25 people I need to serve… no one helped me… then my ma’am told me LET THEM EAT FIRST. AFTER THAT YOU EAT AH. I eat at 11 pm, but my madam doesn’t want me to sit down also… every party is always like this, I eat late.”

Respect doesn’t cost money… just manners

This Facebook post was more than a rant. It was a cry for recognition. These domestic helpers aren’t asking for bonuses, but just a smile, a thank you, and maybe just a little pat on the back. Respect doesn’t cost money… just manners.

So, to the employers and their guests, before you enjoy that second helping of food or wipe your face with that freshly served clean towel, it’s really about time to spare at least a “thank you” for our silent heroines making it all happen behind the scenes.

Read related: Maid’s employer asks, ‘What’s the standard ang pau amount to give my helper during her birthday celebration?’