SINGAPORE: A bride took to Reddit to air her frustrations after her mother-in-law brazenly insisted that every cash gift (ang bao) from the 300 guests she invited to their wedding should go straight into her pocket.
For context, the bride explained in her post on Reddit’s AskSingapore forum that her mother-in-law loaned them S$30,000 for their upcoming wedding, which is expected to cost around S$80,000.
As a condition, her mother-in-law demanded that, in addition to repaying the full S$30,000, every cash gift from the 300 guests she invited herself, which includes the groom’s relatives, friends, and church members, should also be remitted to her.
Her reasoning, according to the bride, is that she “had previously given them gifts when she attended their occasions, so she feels those returns belong to her.”
The bride, however, was quick to note that this arrangement serves no one’s interests but her mother-in-law’s, reducing the wedding to little more than a cash grab rather than a celebration of the couple’s marriage.
“If we end up receiving around S$70,000 in monetary gifts, and if S$50,000 of that comes from her guests, that already exceeds the S$30,000 she is loaning. Yet she still expects us to return that S$30,000 to her,” she explained.
“From my perspective, that means we are fully funding the remaining costs ourselves, while she recovers more than what she contributed and still expects repayment on top of that. It does not feel balanced or fair, especially when my side does not even reach 100 guests, and my parents are not contributing financially at all.”
“This is a red flag of your mother in law.”
The bride’s dilemma garnered hundreds of responses from the community before the post was deleted by the thread’s moderators.
The most-liked response to the post reads, “I would tell her that the loan should be out of goodwill and not a money-making scheme. Offer to recoup her loan fully at S$30k and stick to that. Explain to her that you don’t want to start out your married life with her child in debt because of her greed.”
The user added, “Else if the venue and guest list aren’t confirmed, you decide who you want to invite and reduce the cost yourself since the 300 people invited aren’t your choice. Your wedding, your choice; don’t start out your married life under her control.”
Another individual criticised her mother-in-law, writing, “Isn’t she the one who chose to give her family, friends, and church members gifts when she attended their occasion? How come she is claiming reimbursement from your wedding?”
“This is a red flag of your mother-in-law. If there’s no such agreement prior to that, then she is totally robbing you and her own son. Speak to your spouse and get him to step up and talk to her own mother and tell her off for such action.”
Others, meanwhile, suggested that the couple could consider scaling back their wedding plans by cutting down on extravagant expenses and limiting the guest list. By doing so, their total costs could be brought down to around S$50,000, which would allow them to avoid taking out a loan altogether.
Another practical alternative would be for the couple to opt for a simple Registry of Marriage (ROM) ceremony instead of a full-scale wedding
“Just ROM can liao,” one user said. “Once you signed the papers, you’re already in a marriage contract, don’t need to open a banquet to let the whole world know.”
Another chimed in, “Why even have a wedding you cannot afford? Just ROM. Y’all just making buffets complicated.”
“Record ROM, give a 30-second speech, toast a glass of wine, upload on YouTube, and send everyone the link. There. Problem solved. Now got S$50k for reno budget – the actual important stuff.”
In other news, a young Singaporean jobseeker went online to vent her utter disbelief upon discovering that the S$3,000 entry-level position she had been offered came with what she referred to as “unlimited unpaid overtime.”
In a post on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum, she explained that the contract presented to her included a clause stating that she would be required to “work public holidays and weekends if needed.”
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