‘It was my worst nightmare’: Singapore employer says helper couldn’t cook, clean or communicate

SINGAPORE: An employer has claimed she fired her third helper just four days after she arrived, after realising that the skills listed on her profile did not match reality. She alleged the helper couldn’t cook, couldn’t do basic housework, and even struggled to communicate despite claiming to speak Mandarin and English.

Sharing her experience in the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group on Sunday (June 28), the employer called the brief employment stint the “worst nightmare” she had ever experienced.

“It was the worst nightmare…[The helper] claimed she could speak Mandarin and English, but once she started work, she could barely communicate or understand simple instructions.”

“She couldn’t cook, couldn’t do basic housework properly, and didn’t even know how to fold clothes or make a bed,” the employer wrote. “Out of curiosity, I asked her to cook something. She replied that she only knew how to cook for herself. So I gave her money and asked her to buy whatever ingredients she needed to show me what she could cook.”

The helper allegedly came back with just a pack of hot dogs.

The employer said she was stunned, but what happened next surprised her even more.

According to her, the helper chopped the hot dogs into pieces and put them into the rice cooker together with the rice.

“She didn’t even want to use the stove.”

Other habits that raised concerns

The employer said several other things bothered her during those four days. 

She claimed the helper insisted on addressing her as “Jie,” meaning “older sister,” despite being told to simply call her “Mdm,” as her previous helpers had done.

She also said the helper wore long dresses while doing household chores.

“I asked her how she washed the toilets and mopped the floor when her dress was still completely dry. She simply ignored my question.”

‘I had to rush home’

The employer said the incident that alarmed her the most happened when she left her daughter under the helper’s care.

“When I went out, I asked her to look after my daughter. Instead, she hid in her room with the door closed. When my daughter called for her, she didn’t respond at all.”

The employer said she rushed home as soon as she found out what had happened.

She also alleged that throughout the four days, the helper never apologised for her mistakes, rarely greeted the family, and showed little initiative at work.

“If I were to continue describing her working attitude, one post wouldn’t be enough.”

Thankfully, she said, the agency reviewed the videos and recordings she had provided and agreed to refund her.

She found another helper

The employer said she has since hired another helper who, according to her, has been the complete opposite of the previous one.

She shared that her fourth helper is cheerful, takes instructions seriously, has a positive attitude, and always greets the family with a smile.

“That simple gesture really warms our hearts,” she wrote. “I sincerely hope this journey will last.”

Ending on a positive note

Despite the disappointing experience, the employer said she still believes in treating domestic helpers with kindness and respect.

“I’ve always believed that if we treat our helpers like family, they will eventually appreciate us,” she wrote. “Although some of my previous helpers took me for granted or were ungrateful, I never let those experiences change who I am.”

She added that she doesn’t expect perfection and is happy to be patient with helpers who are willing to learn and put in the effort.

“As long as they are willing to learn, have a good attitude, and genuinely try their best, I don’t mind if they are slower in picking things up. I deeply appreciate every helper who has sincerely helped my family, even if some of their good attitudes only lasted for six months.”

She also stressed that her experience should not be taken as a reflection of all helpers from Myanmar.

“Not every Myanmar helper is a ‘princess’. There are still many who come here with the right mindset and are willing to work hard.”

Ending her post with a message of appreciation, she wrote: “To all the good and hardworking helpers out there, thank you. You are truly gems, and I hope more employers will cherish and appreciate you too.”

‘I thought I was alone’

The post struck a chord with many employers, with several saying they had gone through similar experiences and knew exactly how the employer felt.

One commenter said they were currently dealing with the same situation. They claimed their Myanmar helper (whom they referred to as a ‘Princess’) constantly refused to eat and always told them she had no “energy to do work.” 

When they asked why she had come to Singapore to work as a helper if she wasn’t willing to do the job, the helper simply “smiled.”

Another shared that they had thought they were the only one facing repeated problems when hiring helpers.

“I thought I was alone in facing these spate of woes on hiring and changing helpers. I am now at helper number 5 as number 4 didn’t pass her medical. She strangely passed in Indonesia but failed in Singapore. I have now ‘hit’ my quota of hire change for the year.”

A third wrote, “I hope to have good luck with my fourth helper too. Now currently with my third ‘princess’ helper. Trying to see how long I can endure.”

Meanwhile, a fourth added, “Treat them like employees. Be fair to each newcomer, but always take precautions to protect your family. Your family must always come first. They should never come second to being ‘woke.’”/TISG

Read also: ‘I finally had my “a job is just a job” moment’: Singaporean reflects on workplace disappointment