SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to ask if she’s right to be concerned about her 21-year-old boyfriend’s controlling mother, who always seems to get in the way whenever they spend time together.
Posting her story on the r/sgdatingscene forum on Sunday (Oct 19), the woman said his mother has interrupted their dates more times than she can count and even blocked their plans on several occasions.
She shared that when she once surprised her boyfriend with an overseas trip, his mother disapproved and even “scolded him” for agreeing to go.
When they went on a staycation overnight for the first time, his mother kept guilt-tripping him over texts, saying, “Don’t come home anymore,” “Don’t make me dislike her,” “Your siblings already treat me like this; don’t treat me like this too,” and “Don’t make me stressed over you.”
The next morning, his mother also kept urging him to come home, even though he had already told her he would return around lunchtime.
The woman added that whenever they hung out until midnight, his mother would text him to “come home immediately,” which would “affect their mood.”
Moreover, according to her, his mother tends to rely on him, even when he is spending time with her.
She recalled one incident during a movie date when his mother interrupted to ask him to book her a Grab ride home. “She always asks him to do it because she thinks he can get the cheapest fare,” the woman said. “I was upset because even when he’s physically with me, he’s busy entertaining his mum on his phone.”
She also claimed that his mother likes to go out with him almost every day, brings him along to visit relatives, calls him once or twice daily, and constantly checks on him.
“There was once when she called while I was with him, and the first thing she asked was if he was home. When he said no, she immediately asked if he was out with me. When he said yes, she sounded annoyed and said, ‘Why must meet every day?’”
The woman explained that they actually meet only around four times a week or less, yet she still feels like his mother disapproves of their time together. She admitted that the situation has “frustrated” her because their relationship often feels “restricted and suffocating”.
She said she has already talked to her boyfriend about the issue, and he assured her that he would always “prioritise her over his family.” Still, she cannot help but feel uneasy about how much control his mother has over his time and attention.
Unsure if she should make a big deal out of this, she asked the Reddit community for advice.
“Am I being overly sensitive about his mother? Is he a mummy’s boy, or is he already doing what he can to draw the line with her? What should I do? Apart from this issue, he is really a nice guy who treats me well, and it’s not in his control that he has such a mother, so I’m at a loss,” she wrote.
“Dating a mummy’s boy is trouble.”
In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor said that the reason why the mother is acting so controlling is that she still sees her son as a “little child” rather than an adult.
The Redditor then advised, “I’d suggest—don’t fight her for control… that’ll only make her cling tighter. Instead, be calm, kind, and steady. Let her see that you’re not trying to take him away… you’re just helping him grow up.”
“In time, she might soften (mums always do when they see their sons being taken care of properly). Just remember to take care of your own heart, too, okay? You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Another agreed with this take, writing, “Sorry, he is 21. I know officially he is an adult, but he is still just a child, barely making his own money.”
A third said, “He’s quite young for SG standards… Until he starts making money, I don’t think he can control it.”
Others, on the other hand, urged the woman to end the relationship, warning that his mother would likely interfere even more in the future and become increasingly controlling and damaging to their relationship.
One added, “Dating a mummy’s boy is trouble. The mother will ALWAYS and FOREVER view you as the threat that’s taking her son away from her.”
In other news, one Singaporean marketing employee is beginning to suspect that her company might actually be a “burnout factory” in disguise after being assigned 25 whopping clients.
In a post on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum on Wednesday (Oct 15), she shared the staggering list of tasks she is expected to handle daily. These include coordinating social media and content calendars, tracking KPIs, checking websites for bugs or layout issues, providing optimisation feedback, managing day-to-day client communication, tracking her team’s workload, and ensuring that every task fits neatly within each client’s allocated hours.
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