“If I could, I would throw you out of my house because you are an embarrassment,” father berates daughter for poor A-level results

SINGAPORE: Asian parents usually have high expectations when it comes to their kids’ education, but this Singaporean student claimed that her parents completely changed and became harsher on her after scoring poorly on her A-levels.

Sharing her struggles on r/SGexams on Thursday (Jul 4), she explained that despite consistently achieving good results in PSLE and O-levels, her parents turned their backs on her after her A-levels. 

“My life after A levels has been so demoralizing because of my bad score which caused me to be rejected for the unis i applied for as well as how my parents are to me.”

“My father was calling me on the way home from work and his exact words were, “If can, I want to throw you out of my house because you are an embarrassment”.”

She was shocked by her father’s harsh words and couldn’t understand how a parent could threaten to kick out their own child simply because of academic performance.

“I told my father that I don’t understand why he thinks it’s alright to say he wants to throw me out of the house and guess what? he replied by saying that i should be thankful he’s not sending me to girls’ home instead.”

Moreover, her father repeatedly called her a “useless daughter” and declared he would now focus solely on her siblings’ education because “she had given him nothing good as a daughter.”

“His words have always been harsh since I was little, but for some reason, I just can’t seem to get used to it, and it genuinely hurts. 

“As his daughter, I don’t stay out late, I don’t don’t do illegal stuff, I have a small circle of friends and I only ever go out for my part-time job.” 

When she suggested applying to polytechnic instead of university, her father told her that “he doesn’t care and if she wanted to go then she should pay for herself or beg for a loan from organizations or something.”

“Are all parents really like this? Is this normal? I know it’s my fault for not doing well and he keeps messaging me “This is all your fault” like I know!!!!! aghhhh it’s seriously messing with me and idk how to get myself out of this man i’m literally just a 19 yr old girl still figuring out life.”

“Not doing well on an exam is never the end of the world for anyone.”

In the discussion thread, the netizens urged the student to ignore the negative attitudes that her parents are displaying and focus on where she wants to go from here. 

They also reminded her that she’s still young, with a long life ahead of her, so she shouldn’t let her parents’ remarks demoralize and stop her from pursuing her dreams.

One netizen said, “Not doing well on an exam is never the end of the world for anyone. Be strong and focus on your future plan rather than getting yourself affected by his hurtful comments.”

Another commented, “It’s heartbreaking to hear about your experience, and I want to tell you that your worth is not defined by your academic results. As a father myself, I believe that love and support for children should never hinge on their exam scores.”

Some netizens also criticized her father and called him emotionally immature, narcissistic, and a bully. As a parent, they said that he should have given her unconditional love and encouragement especially at a time when her daughter is feeling down.

However, he instead chose to hurt her repeatedly by being so vindictive and mentally and verbally abusing her, all because of his ego and image.

One netizen said, “A perfect example that age does not equal maturity. Your father unfortunately still has a long way to go in growing up. Nobody determines your self worth other than yourself. 

Always remember, that when people harm you whether verbally or in other ways, it reflects more on themselves than you.”

Another added, “Please don’t accept their behavior as “normal”, and no, a good parent is not like that. I’m not very well versed in this topic but please get external help if you need.”

Read also: Students can study at Changi Airport “if they need somewhere without sleeping ah peks” — Gwee Li Sui

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