‘I need a peaceful environment’ — Maid says toxic home environment is affecting her mental health

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper took to social media to share that she is now having second thoughts about staying with her current employers because the tense and toxic environment at home has been taking a toll on her mental health.

In a post shared on the “SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER” Facebook group on Monday (May 4), the helper said that ever since she started working, her employers, a married couple, had been arguing frequently inside the house, often with “raised voices.”

According to the helper, the constant fighting has been making her feel anxious and emotionally distressed, especially because of her past experiences.

“I know [that this is their] house and they have the right to do whatever they want, [but] because of my past experiences, this situation is affecting my anxiety and making me feel very uncomfortable.”

The helper also revealed that before accepting the job, she had already told her employer during the interview that she was uncomfortable with shouting and heated arguments.

She said she preferred it when people sat down calmly to talk through problems instead of yelling and that her employer had actually agreed with her on this point.

“I’m really trying my best to do my work well, but I also need a peaceful environment to feel safe and stable. I would like to ask — do I have the right to request a transfer if I am not comfortable in this situation?”

“Get to the root of the problem and go see a therapist.”

In the comments section, several netizens told the helper to prioritise her well-being and request a transfer if she no longer felt comfortable in the household.

“This environment is not good for your well-being. You can request a transfer,” one wrote.

“You have a right to a peaceful place of work, but first let your employer know this, and give them time to think about it. Sometimes kids and helpers become invisible when a couple fights; they don’t realise that fighting in front of them is equivalent to arguing on the streets and being heard and seen by ‘other’ people,” another commented.

Some, however, felt that since the arguments were between the couple and not directed at the helper herself, she should try not to get emotionally affected by it.

One user pointed out, “Two people arguing/shouting at each other—not you—in their own house has nothing to do with you. I am amazed that you expect them to change their normal behaviour TOWARDS EACH OTHER in the privacy of their OWN HOME because of you.”

Another added, “If you’re not the one they scolded, it’s fine. It’s their own problem.”

Others encouraged her to seek professional help if her anxiety continues to worsen.

One commented, “Please go and seek professional help for your anxiety. If you go anywhere, cases like this will happen. It might happen to you. So get to the root of the problem and go see a therapist.”

In other news, a frustrated jobseeker is questioning whether some companies are abusing the hiring process by getting applicants to do what feels like “free work” through lengthy interview assignments, only to ghost them afterwards.

In a post on the r/askSingapore forum, the individual asked fellow Singaporeans how they can tell if a company is genuinely hiring or simply making candidates do unpaid work under the guise of a job application.

Read more: ‘Some assignments take a week’ — Jobseeker asks if companies are exploiting applicants for free work