Help! My mom is demanding money and I’m just a week into my first full-time job

SINGAPORE: A woman who just started her first full-time job wrote that her mother and sister both expect her to pay them part of her salary, and asked to hear other Reddit users’ “valuable thoughts” on the matter.

In a much-commented upon post on Wednesday (June 25) on r/askSingapore, u/InvestigatorSharp714 asked if others pay S$500 to their parents, adding that she is being asked to pay an additional S$500 to her sister, as she stays in her sister’s flat. However, she seldom uses air-conditioning and appears to feel that this amount is too high.

She described herself as a late bloomer at 29 who graduated this year and is on probation at her job for six months.

While she can afford this, she feels that S$1000 is too much as she has no CPF savings and still needs to pay for an MOE tuition fee loan of around S$1000 a month until the debt is cleared.

“I plan to purchase a single-person flat and rely on my own money to retire instead of relying on marriage & kids,” the post author added, implying that the sooner she begins to save up, the better.

Many commenters on her post urged her to negotiate with her parents and sister to lower the amount they’re asking for, given that she just started working.

Some pointed out that while it might be fair for her sister to charge an amount for rent, they found the mother’s request “audacious”.

A Reddit user told her that she doesn’t have to give her mum the amount she’s being asked. “Give whatever you deem fit. If she’s unhappy about it, then just don’t give her any altogether. You literally just started. Where is the money going to come from? Sky? She delulu. Hope you’re able to get your own place as soon as possible within your means!”

Others also encouraged her to move out as soon as possible to avoid family conflicts over money.

“Honestly moving out would actually cost more or about the same. Endure for now till you’re more financially stable. At least you know money talks. Regardless of family or not, its always about money,” another wrote.

“Take that $1000 and rent a room somewhere else,” agreed a commenter.

“It’s important to help out a family yes, and be thankful for the time and hard work they done for you during all those years of raising you. But if it was a crazy request you can’t fulfil and affects your own personal needs and goals in life [the unselfish kind] you should try to discuss about it if you can do that with your parents [coz i can’t with mine, she’s a bit crazy].

“Do not let what others want affect what you need. You should always give what you could spare,” another weighed in.

The post author edited her post to say she’s now planning on giving them S$250 each but will keep on paying S$1000 a month for her student loan so that it doesn’t accumulate interest. /TISG

Read also: ‘People should stop looking at their kids as a retirement plan’ — Netizens tell woman whose mum is unhappy with receiving 1/10 of her salary