“Help! If I don’t nag my husband, he doesn’t do what I’ve asked him to do”

SINGAPORE: A woman sought advice online for getting her husband to do the tasks she’s asked him to, saying she hates it when her husband tells her to stop nagging him.

u/Ashamed-Tooth-9035 wrote on u/askSingapore on Sept 16 that she understands how her husband feels because she hated it when her parents used to nag her. “However.. if I don’t nag, he simply does not do what I’ve asked him to do,” she wrote, adding that she “99% of the mental load in maintaining (their) household,” which includes one child and her in-laws.

Despite being a working mum, she’s taken to doing the tasks she can handle herself. Like her, her husband has a demanding job but is also busy with hobbies after work and during weekends.

“And one more thing that annoys me to no end. Sometimes when I am nagging, my husband will respond “You do lah! You got job meh?” I just think this is very disrespectful, because I DO have a go***mn job even if I earn less than 20% of what he earns.”

Some commenters wrote that a monotasking system—wherein tasks are divided completely—works for them.

“Do only your part. Example, wash only your clothes & the kid’s. Leave his dirty with no clean underwear to wear. Or simply hire a helper,” wrote another.

“Time is precious, instead of nagging hit him in his wallet instead,” one advised.

A Reddit user had this to say: “One thing is for sure though, if you have kids, let him know he’s setting a bad example. If you both have a daughter, he’s showing her that this is how she can expect to be treated by her bf/husband next time when she’s older. And if you have a son, he’s showing his son that it is ok to dump all the responsibilities at home to the women – the wife, the mother, sister, helper, grandma. All the womenfolk. He’s showing his son that it’s ok to treat his future gf/wife this way.”

One male Reddit user said, “Tell him clearly what tasks you need him to do, and when you need him to do, e.g. can you sweep/mop the floor by 10, because xxx is coming to visit our house around 10.15.”

/TISG

Wife complains that all her husband does is “send the kids to school. Nap all day long, play games and scroll tiktok”