SINGAPORE: James S e xton, widely considered the number one divorce lawyer in the US, was a recent guest on a podcast where he named the top two reasons why couples split up: money and unfaithfulness.
Mr S e xton advised that considering infidelity as the main reason for divorce may be unhelpful, calling this an “oversimplification,” and he explained that it’s just one part of the overall marital picture.
He also had a more layered take on money, saying that money is often not just a question of finances but also involves other aspects such as power, control, opportunity, and security.
“It’s about a whole bunch of things, but it’s not really about money,” the divorce attorney explained.
He added, “Money is just a currency that we trade, so I think money has a whole bunch of complicated stuff tied up in it. People are dishonest with themselves and with money.”
His best advice for couples is to pay attention to one another, although this would mean less income for him as a divorce lawyer.
One example of how men can do this for their wives is to write a love note reminding them how much and why they love them.
The divorce lawyer is the author of three books, two on how to stay in love and one titled If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together, which hints that he’s an expert on the topic.
Mr S e xton was a guest on Steven Bartlett’s The Diary of a CEO podcast to explain the two main reasons married couples get divorced.
The episode where he appeared lasts almost two hours and 20 minutes and has been viewed nearly 2.4 million times since it was aired on May 20.
In addition to Mr S e xton sharing his invaluable insights on the matter, one Singapore law firm also lists the following as common reasons for divorce in Singapore, and yes, both reasons Mr S e xton mentioned are included.
These are adultery, getting married too young, violence, lack of intimacy, communication problems, and financial issues.
In Singapore, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) announced last month that couples may get a divorce based on mutual agreement beginning from July 1, meaning they will no longer need a compelling reason to part ways.
However, no one enters a marriage thinking they’ll separate later. On the contrary, everyone who falls in love and decides to get married wants to stay together “till death do us part.”
Therefore, knowing the top reasons for splitting up is important to, shall we say, divorce-proof your union so that you can, fingers crossed, hopefully, stay together till the end. /TISG
Read related: MSF: Couples may plead mutual agreement as grounds for divorce from July 1