guilt-trip-in-relationships:-how-it-works-and-how-to-respond

Girlfriend says her boyfriend with no income keeps asking her money to invest in crypto even after losing money borrowed from the bank

SINGAPORE — An online user turned to the Singaporean public for relationship advice on Tuesday (Feb 9). In her post titled, “Would I be the a**h**e for not lending my boyfriend money?” she gave readers a bit of context.

“My boyfriend and I have been together for about x years,” she wrote. “Recently, he lost money in crypto and borrowed from the bank, hoping to recoup his losses, but was not able to do so. At the same time, he was also changing jobs (and) hence had no income. I lent him money to tide him over and we both scrimped together, now he has a job and healthy savings. He has been paying off his loan monthly and also saving decently, and would return my money.”

The writer also disclosed that she and her significant other are planning to get married in the near future. However, she wrote, “Recently he told me that he has placed about Xk into crypto because the market has been doing well recently, and only has cash of Xk, but he has a loan to be paid off. I shared that it doesn’t seem safe to place so much money in crypto when he has a loan to be paid off, because he could lose money again and not be able to pay off the loan. He then said that worse comes to worse, I could lend him some money to tide him over again, as he doesn’t want to cash out his investments at a loss.”

The writer then shared that though she can afford to lend her boyfriend the money, she has her own reservations about the issue. “Somehow I felt that it wasn’t right?” she shared. “Because I shouldn’t really be his back up and if he knows he might make a loss, then he should reduce the amount set aside for investment? But on the other hand, we are already planning a future together and our finances will combine, so I am not sure if I am being an a**h**e by being calculative?”

In response to the post, many online users were straight up with their opinions on the matter. While a handful compared the boyfriend’s mentality to a gambler’s, others went so far as to call his behaviour a red flag.