Singapore — Two women with very similar sex drives are seeking advice on why their partners are not keen on having sex with them as frequently as they expected it to be, even when their sex drive is higher than their partners.
The two bewildered women took their problems to NUSWhispers on Tuesday (Nov 23) in the hopes of solving the mystery.
One woman, a 27-year-old who’s been dating her 29-year-old partner for the past year and a half and have even bought a home with him, says their relationship “has been going smoothly and we are still pretty loving” except she’s quite concerned over one thing.
“I’m not sure if my boyfriend is sexually attracted to me. We probably had sex for <10 times over the course of our relationship – most of it happened during the start of our rs (relationship), and the last time was probably 5-6 months ago.”
She added that her boyfriend is often tired from working over 12 hours a day and that the last time they had sex he was “a bit reluctant.”
“Both of us are aware that I have a higher sex drive than him, or maybe probably my job just isn’t as demanding as his,” the woman wrote, later adding that she’s “not sure why he’s not keen on having sex.”
The lack is also making her feel insecure and feel that she’s no longer attractive to him.
“Anyone has any advices on this, or can list out some possible reasons why my boyfriend isn’t interested?” she asked.
The other woman with a similar complaint has been with her boyfriend for five years.
She came straight to the point, “I suspect he’s either gay or asexual, because we never have sex.”
And while they were sexually intimate at the start of their relationship, “after that it just stopped.”
“I don’t want to judge him, but I don’t think it’s “normal” for a healthy young guy (30s) to not have a sex drive.
Not sure how long more I can continue in a celibate relationship like this. Women have needs too,” she added, asking for “some opinions from guys about this issue.”
Many of the commenters suggested that the women simply talk to their partners.
Others explained that, contrary to popular belief, some men just have lower libido.
/TISG
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