‘Don’t have kids if you don’t have money’: Woman says her brother has grown bitter towards parents after interning in investment banking

SINGAPORE: A local woman shared on social media that her brother has grown bitter towards their parents after he took a year off from his studies at Singapore Management University (SMU) to pursue investment banking internships.

On Tuesday (Feb 17), she posted on a local forum, explaining that he has become increasingly disrespectful when speaking to their parents. On one occasion, he allegedly told them they had “let him down because they’re not wealthy.”

According to her, he has also begun attributing his professional shortcomings to his upbringing. 

Whenever he makes mistakes at work, he points the finger at their parents, insisting they “didn’t teach him well growing up.” At one point, he even went so far as to say, “Don’t have kids if you don’t have money.”

“What shocked me most is that he’s on scholarship, but he asked my parents to transfer him the S$40,000 scholarship money because he feels they ‘owe him’,” she wrote, expressing disbelief at the request.

“He only talks to my parents when he needs something (food, car, etc.). When they ask normal things like, “How was your day?”, he doesn’t reply if it’s not useful to him.”

For context, the woman said their parents have provided them with a comfortable life.

“My parents have stable jobs, and we stay in a 5-room HDB flat. They’re not rich, but we’re comfortable. They provide him with meals, a place to stay, and basically anything he needs. They don’t expect anything in return.”

Questioning whether the high-pressure and competitive nature of investment banking might be influencing his behaviour, she asked fellow Reddit users for their thoughts.

“Is this normal stress from competitive environments like banking? Or is this entitlement? What should my parents do in this situation? Should they start setting boundaries?”

“If he is rude, they can cut him off.”

In the discussion thread, one Singaporean Redditor said that the brother’s peers or social environment may have influenced his way of thinking.

“Investment banking seems to rely a lot on connections and high-end experience, and because what you describe sounds like middle income, he’s probably jealous and develop an inferiority complex to his peers,” they wrote. 

Nevertheless, the user added that regardless of the reason, his parents should still “whoop his bum” for saying such foolish things instead of giving him a car or that S$40,000.

Another wrote, “Bro, you guys are more than rich; owning a 5-room house and a car in Singapore is no easy feat.

“Unless your parents are being stingy by trying to cut down on every expense or making you feel bad about buying simple, basic things or going out because it costs money, then it’s understandable, or else your brother needs to humble himself.”

Others advised that the woman should get her parents to set some boundaries before the situation worsens.

One said, “Get your parents to talk to him, set boundaries, and find out why he is feeling this way. If he is rude, they can cut him off. He will lose his inheritance if he continues to behave this way.”

In other news, a man expressed that he felt upset after discovering that two of his colleagues who had handed in their resignation letters were promptly rewarded with generous counteroffers and now take home significantly higher salaries than he does.

On Monday (Feb 16), he took to the r/singaporejobs subreddit to share that this “weird resign culture” has been happening in their department (which is a niche in their industry) for quite some time.

Read more: Man upset as colleagues who submitted resignation letters received counteroffers from company and now earn more than him