SINGAPORE: Once upon a time, in the not-so-distant 80s and 90s, many Singapore households were run on the simple formula: Dad works, Mum stays home, and the kids survive on a mix of Tiger Balm and moral support, but today?
Well, a Singaporean woman poked the hornet’s nest with one deceptively simple question: “Do SG men still fully provide for the family like in the past?”
The post, targeted at millennial marriages in their 20s to early 40s, sparked a flood of brutally honest, surprisingly wholesome, and occasionally philosophical responses. And guess what? The era of the sole breadwinner is, well… pretty much toast!
“Rare in my social circle, especially among those with kids…”
“Rare in my social circle, especially among those with kids,” said one Redditor on r/askSingapore, noting that only couples with extreme income gaps (e.g., husband earning 10x more) stick to the traditional model. “Her salary is her own fun money.”
Others revealed more equitable power dynamics. “Millennial here. We are dual-income. My husband earns 30% more than I do, so he takes care of the household and the kids’ bills. I buy the groceries. Big items we split 50:50. House loan is split equally using our CPF (Central Provident Fund),” said another.
- Split finances according to earning percentage? Yes.
- Separate spending money no one can nag about? Yes.
- Everything pooled together? Yes, but risky. A few brave warriors still do it, though.
“My wife is a SAHM…”
There are still stay-at-home mums (SAHMs) — but mostly with husbands raking in big bucks or the couple embraces minimalist living, as one father wrote:
“My wife chose to be a SAHM. I take care of the family. We’re millennials. No point drawing lines on ‘me vs you.’ It’s ours. Everyone has a role.”
Another commented, “I pay for everything. My wife is a SAHM, and I want to say that being a SAHM is a very tough job… I’m not a feminist, but I recognise hard work when I see it.”
However, others admitted the mental toll of being a SAHM is no joke. “No pay, no off-days, mentally taxing… It’s hard!”
“No way would I let my husband be the only one to earn…”
A particularly sharp comment from a 50-something Singaporean woman offered a brutal reality check:
“It is quite scary to be totally financially reliant on someone else. Believe me, it puts a tremendous responsibility on him too, one which he may resent.”
She warned of financial control, power imbalance, loss of identity, and worst of all — becoming “unplugged” from society. Her advice was that every woman should work at least a little. Even “tai tai” (wealthy mistress) life, she said, comes with its own set of traps.
Another echoed the sentiment: “No way would I let my husband be the only one to earn. I dislike the idea of earning little to no income. It’s about power dynamics and independence.”
“Don’t be a SAHP unless you can meet xyz conditions…”
Redditors also debated the emotional side of joint finances. Some believe money should be pooled for the good of the family. Others think it’s healthier to keep individual autonomy. The ideal setup is, according to one Singaporean:
“Don’t be a SAHP (stay-at-home parent) unless you can meet xyz conditions — solid relationship, similar financial habits, willingness to fully rely or be relied on.”
“You have to be rich…”
In the end, many concluded that the luxury of a single-income household isn’t just about values — it’s about math.
“You have to be rich,” one said flatly, adding, “Just look at condo prices.”
Another jumped in: “If both work, then both should contribute, and the one working more at home should pay less. Because combining office stress and housework is brutal.”
So then, the answer seems to be a no for the majority, that Singaporean husbands today don’t always “fully provide” like in the past.
But that’s not necessarily a bad thing — it’s just a new chapter in the modern marriage playbook and lifestyle.
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