‘Am I wrong?’: Man stays close to ex’s family after breakup and ends up exposing her alleged new romance

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man has sparked a lively debate online after revealing that he is still close to his ex-girlfriend’s family and may have accidentally stirred up a bit of family drama in the process.

The 25-year-old shared on Reddit that he and his girlfriend had ended their four-year relationship just two weeks earlier. Although the split was supposedly amicable, things became awkward when he bumped into her family during a cruise holiday and ended up telling them something they probably were not expecting to hear.

“We hung out together. I’m quite close with her siblings (female-12 and male-23) and her mom, so we talked about the relationship, and I told them my ex probably has a new boyfriend, because I saw her location at his house quite often.”

According to the man, his ex’s brother was stunned by the revelation.

“The brother was shocked ‘cause she told the family that she was going out to celebrate at a friend’s home cafe. Him being a self-righteous person, he was really angry for me, and the young sister, who doesn’t quite understand cheating or relationships yet, was just really angry at my ex for having a new boyfriend who isn’t me.”

Meanwhile, her mother admitted that she had long suspected something was going on because her daughter was constantly messaging someone.

He added that towards the end of their relationship, he found out that her ex started hanging out with a 27-year-old guy.

“She started hanging out very often [with him], even lying to me and her family that she was out with other people when she was really with him, until she got caught outside by my friend.”

The man said the family sided with him and intentionally posted a group photo from the cruise on Instagram so his ex would see that they had all been hanging out together.

A few days later, his phone lit up with a “lengthy, angry” message from his ex.

“She called me childish and accused me of trying to turn her family against her. She said I shouldn’t have told her family about our relationship stuff, but genuinely, I really like her family and the feeling’s mutual. She didn’t address or deny anything about the new guy being her bf, though lol.”

Unsure whether he had overstepped, the man turned to Reddit and asked: “Am I the A***ole for still keeping in contact with my ex’s family?”

“Stop interfering with your ex’s life.”

Opinions in the comments section were mixed.

Some felt there was nothing wrong with maintaining a friendship with people he had become close to over the years.

One said, “You’re not wrong for being close to family. She must grow up. You’re all adults, especially the parents and brother, so all of you can choose who to be friends with. No sense taking sides.”

Another commented, “You’re not the a***ole, but you need to draw better boundaries. Stop interfering with your ex’s life already, haha. You guys are no longer together.”

Others, however, felt he had crossed a line by discussing private relationship matters with her family.

One commenter wrote, “Yes, obviously. After a breakup, it’s weird to keep in contact with her family. Even if you’re close and bump into them, I would just say a cordial hi and bye. Not sit down and tell them all the drama.”

The commenter continued, “It seems like you knew exactly what you were doing, intentionally telling them about the new guy and framing it like cheating. Her family doesn’t need to know the details of her relationships. She is right, you are childish to do so.”

Another person suggested that he might still be struggling to move on.

“It feels like you low-key have the ‘I can’t live without her’ vibes,” the commenter said. “You can still be cordial with her family, but give yourself some distance to heal. Because, bruh, you’re not fooling yourself into thinking you’re healing. You aren’t at all.”

In other news, a 28-year-old software engineer whose salary has remained at S$3,500 a month says he feels “demoralised” after being tasked with training newly hired fresh graduates who are reportedly earning around S$5,500 a month.

In a post shared on Reddit on Tuesday (Jun 2), the engineer said he has been with his company for four years and currently handles a wide range of responsibilities, including maintaining production servers, developing new applications and features, automation work, and both frontend and backend development. His work primarily involves Python, Java, and frontend technologies. 

Read more: Software engineer feels undervalued after being tasked with training higher-paid fresh graduates