SINGAPORE: Trying to hold down a career while raising a child and keeping a household running left one Singaporean mum feeling completely burnt out.
After months of trying to make it work, she finally made a decision that many working parents can relate to: she hired a domestic helper.
Describing her daily routine, the mum said it felt like she was juggling three full-time jobs at once.
“It’s 3 full-time jobs—caretaking of kid, house chores, and your day job,” she wrote. “I’m already working a hybrid job (2 days WFO), yet it’s impossible. I couldn’t find a solution to this.”
She also explained that the pressure started affecting her relationship with her husband as they kept arguing over who should do what around the house.
“After arguing nonstop about who does what, we ended up hiring a helper. The fatigue and lack of self-care time were not worth saving that few hundred dollars.”
The mum had shared her situation on Reddit’s r/askSingapore forum on Tuesday (Aug 4) in response to a question from another user, who asked how married couples, particularly working parents without a helper, manage household chores while juggling their careers.
The user wrote, “Married, working couples & working moms of Singapore, how do you manage house chores, especially those who don’t have a helper? At the end of the day, both of you are exhausted from work but still need to get things done at home. Do you split everything 50/50 (house chores & finances)? Or does one partner contribute more in one aspect?”
They added, “I can’t even begin to think about how draining it is for the working mothers; mad respect to y’all. Do spill the secrets of where your strength comes from.”
Many parents said outside help makes a huge difference
The discussion quickly filled with replies from other parents, many of whom admitted that keeping everything under control often requires some form of extra help.
One mother said she has invested in a robot vacuum, dishwasher, washing machine, and dryer to cut down on housework. On top of that, she hires a part-time cleaner once a week to change the bedsheets, iron clothes, clean the bathrooms, and mop the floors.
Another mum, who is pregnant with her second child, said she and her husband have settled into a routine that works for them.
“My husband has been anchoring laundry and dog walking after my kid, and I sleep. I’m pregnant now, so I usually end up knocked out with my elder one. Then on my work-from-home days, I get a part-time cleaner to come fortnightly. Lastly, our robot vacuum runs every day. Alternate days to mop too. That really helps, especially with a household filled with dog’s fur.”
A third mother explained that while her husband was hands-on and willing to help, she still carried most of the invisible mental load.
She said she usually noticed when chores needed doing, while her husband would happily complete them only after being asked.
“My husband will do any chores I ask him to, like laundry, folding clothes, and washing dishes—but that’s usually on an asking basis; he doesn’t really have the mental load of noticing when the laundry basket is full haha. He only mentions it when he runs out of underwear. We cook only once or twice a week for dinner, mostly eating downstairs or a short drive away.”
Others said they had managed to split household duties more evenly with their spouses, aiming for a roughly “50-50 arrangement.”
One user wrote, “The husband here, we split basic chores, as she deals with the laundry and I deal with the dishes and cooking. The more time-consuming ones like washing carpet, toilet scrubbing, wiping ceiling fans, and ironing clothes are being outsourced to a part-time helper that charges $30 per hr. The helper usually comes in once a fortnight for 4 hours straight.”
He also said they have started involving their four-year-old son in household chores. The child helps clear the table, rinse dishes, and even vacuums the house, having “graduated from a toy Dyson to a real one.”
According to the father, cleaning together has become a bonding activity. “I bond with him by cleaning together, and it instils a sense of responsibility in him that the house is a shared space.”
In other news, a Singaporean man earning S$3,500 a month has admitted he’s finding it hard to feel satisfied with his career after seeing many of his friends land jobs paying S$5,500 to S$6,000 a month.
In a post on the r/asksg forum, the 27-year-old shared that he has a private degree and works in the supply chain industry.
Follow Google News
Join us on WhatsApp
Follow us on Telegram