Divorced Singaporean woman shocked to find cardiologist boyfriend is married serial cheater

SINGAPORE: A woman has taken to the SGWhispers confessions portal to share a deeply unsettling dating experience, alleging that a man she met shortly after her divorce had misrepresented himself and was secretly leading a double life.

In the anonymous post, the woman said she had recently gone through a divorce and has custody of her daughter, who has a disability. Hoping to move on with her life, she joined a dating site, where she met a 41-year-old interventional cardiologist.

She said that, at first, he appeared to be “the total package.” They shared similar interests, including music, sports, wine and sake. She also described him as someone who regularly played football and enjoyed keeping fish and rays as a hobby.

“I thanked my lucky stars that this guy seemed to understand me,” she wrote.

However, she claimed that after about two weeks, she began noticing what she considered to be warning signs.

According to the woman, the man frequently spoke negatively about his former partners and colleagues, portraying himself as the only person who had done nothing wrong while painting everyone else as the “bad guys.”

She also alleged that she found herself constantly reassuring him and “stroking his ego.”

Among the claims she made was that the man referred to himself as “God” and allegedly enjoyed making colleagues wait for him by intentionally arriving late to the operating theatre and catheterisation laboratory because it made him “feel like the king.”

The woman further alleged that, although he initially appeared interested in her, he later began comparing her to other women in his life, whom he allegedly referred to as “xiao mei mei.”

She claimed he described these women, whom he allegedly said were medical sales representatives promoting stents, as “low-class women,” while insisting that he only dated “high-class women.”

However, she alleged that she later discovered he was allegedly having sexual relationships or engaging in intimate encounters with some of these women during overseas conferences, in hotels, car parks and other locations.

The woman claimed she later learnt through someone she knew, who was allegedly a colleague of the man, that he was in fact married to another doctor and had two young sons.

“That’s when I realised he was not truthful about many things and I investigated further,” she wrote.

She went on to allege that he had also been involved with a former schoolmate and ex-colleagues, describing him as someone who was “always lying non stop.”

She also claimed she once saw him engaging in intimate behaviour with another woman in a lift without his knowledge, and alleged that he denied it when confronted.

Reflecting on her experience, the woman warned others to exercise caution when dating.

She expressed the opinion that some doctors develop a sense of entitlement because of their profession and the attention they receive from female sales representatives, assistants and nurses. She alleged that such individuals could be emotionally unavailable and constantly seek new romantic pursuits after losing interest in existing relationships.

“The lying and deception are what drove me to write this,” she concluded.

The confession generated significant discussion online, with many commenters focusing on the man’s alleged behaviour rather than his profession.

One commenter suggested that his occupation may have influenced first impressions, writing, “His profession is a smoke screen and unfortunately, many will fall for it. If he is an ordinary office worker, I think you will not fall for him in the first place.”

Several others questioned whether the man’s alleged wife knew about the accusations.

“Wonder if his wife knows,” one person commented, while another wrote, “*whispers* send your post to his wife and company…”

Another commenter remarked, “She thought she got a good catch. Turns out he is the devil.”

Some readers said the woman’s suspicions should have arisen earlier. “Your alarm bells should have rung when he seemed to be someone who is too perfect… What’s he doing on dating sites, if he’s so perfect? Of course, ‘everyone else is bad’,” one commenter wrote, before adding, “After divorce, you still can trust love? All men are the same la.”

Others viewed the story as a reminder to manage expectations when dating. “If a guy seems like a catch and he is above 35, single and not asexual, divorced nor widowed, there are always hidden red flags. All the real good ones get snapped up fast. Same for girls too,” one commenter said.

Another netizen wrote, “Lower down your expectations and you won’t have these problems.”

One commenter said they would leave the matter to the man’s spouse if the allegations were true, writing, “I will just send everything to the wife lah…. Let the wife handle, this kind of man is not worth my time.”