‘She wants to go home’: Employer upset after maid allegedly mixed menstrual underwear with family laundry

SINGAPORE: An employer took to social media to share that her domestic helper deliberately washed her menstrual underwear together with the family’s laundry before telling her husband that she wanted to return to her home country.

Posting in the “Singapore transfer helper maids direct hire – expat employers” Facebook group, the employer said the helper was a transfer maid who had been working for the family for about two months and had just completed her loan obligations.

According to the employer, tensions had been building as she felt the helper had been intentionally doing things to upset her. 

The latest incident, she said, involved the helper allegedly mixing her menstrual underwear with the rest of the household’s clothes during laundry.

“[My helper] purposely does things that make me pissed. Then she tells my husband that she wants to go back home, as her children have a fever, and she does not mind buying her own air tickets.”

Unsure of what to do, the employer sought advice from her employment agency. 

She was allegedly told that since the helper was still under contract with the agency, the most cost-effective option would be to send her back to them. 

Doing so, they added, would allow the employer to recover half of her agency fees as well as receive a partial insurance refund.

However, the timing of the request has left the employer in a difficult position.

She shared that she is due to leave for a holiday the following day and will not be in Singapore. Her agency reportedly suggested bringing the helper to their office and paying for her food and lodging during that period, warning that keeping her at home could carry the risk of her running away.

While the employer said she did not mind covering the additional costs, she expressed concern that the agency might try to transfer the helper to another household.

“I do not mind paying for her to be at agency, but I’m scared they will coax her for a transfer rather than returning the maid to me after my holiday, should she change her mind.”

Seeking advice from other employers, she asked whether sending the helper back to the agency would be the best course of action or whether doing so could create even more complications.

“I don’t retain maids who break my house rules”

Under her post, many suggested that if the helper was already expressing a desire to return home, the employer should simply arrange for her departure and move on.

One commenter wrote, “No need to waste energy; just get a runner and send her to the airport now. She buys her ticket at the counter. Your agency should have runner service.”

Another said, “I would personally dare the maid to book the ticket for a flight home with her own money before my departure date – and to do it in front of me. That’s how I’ll find out what her intent is.”

“Maids these days know employers don’t want to lose their money, so they make threats. Either way, I don’t retain maids who break my house rules. They’re not worth the trouble.”

A third sympathised with the employer and criticised the helper’s alleged actions, writing, “Feel sorry this matter happened to you. She’s so unhygienic, mixing her undies with other people clothes.” 

A few others, however, felt there might be more to the story and suggested that the helper could simply be overwhelmed or missing her family.

One told the post author, “She’s feeling homesick right now.. if you still want her, then talk to her nicely.”/TISG

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