Maid with 11 years of experience says new employer ‘makes her cry and think she’s not good enough to be their helper’

SINGAPORE: A domestic helper shared on social media that, in her 11 years working in Singapore, this is the first time she has encountered an employer who “makes her cry” and feels as though “she is not good enough” for the role.

In a post on the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group, the helper said that no matter how hard she tries to follow instructions and do her work properly, she often finds herself being criticised.

She also claimed that her employer’s instructions sometimes seem to change from one day to the next, leaving her confused about what is actually expected of her.

For example, she recalled: “My madam said I could put/load in a dishwasher to save soap and water, but one day I put it in the dishwasher, and she said I could hand wash. The plates I had already washed and left to dry, she then put back in the dishwasher with a rather cross look, even though they were already clean.”

The helper added that she had even asked her employer whether she had done something wrong or if her work was not up to standard, only to be reassured that everything was fine.

“Your work is all great,” her employer allegedly told her.

She further shared that before taking the job, she had been warned that the household’s “madam” was known to have a short temper. Despite this, she decided to accept the position because she believed that everyone has both good and bad sides.

“I accepted it because I know there is a good and bad side in every one of us,” she said. “I know being a domestic helper is very tough work and needs stretchable patience, …but I always think about the positive side.”

“I’ve been with my new employer for 4 months. I want to stay here because I want to help my madam to be okay. I want to understand why she’s like that, but it drains my positive vibes and energy. Any advice if I should transfer or still stay here? I don’t want to judge my madam because we are all human. Nobody is perfect.”

“Sit and talk—lay your issues.”

Many commenters sympathised with her situation and encouraged her to put her mental and emotional well-being first.

One commenter wrote, “Sister, if it drains you, if it affects your mental health, no need to stay…you deserve better…who will treat you better.”

Another advised, “If you are not happy in your job, why stay? It may be better to transfer and find your peace.”

A third added, “Leave it as we are here just to work and earn money; regardless of her condition, it’s none of your responsibility!! We are just helpers and workers, not PhDs.”

A few others, however, felt that the helper should give herself more time to adjust to the household and try resolving the issue through communication before making a decision.

One commenter suggested, “Sit and talk—lay your issues. After talking, if there are no changes, ask for a transfer.”

Another said, “To helpers here, constantly changing environments in search of ‘peace’ or a better employer without addressing the underlying issues is often unhelpful, as the same challenges may arise again elsewhere. It’s all about your attitude and a willing heart!”

In other news, a Singaporean woman has sparked a lively discussion online after sharing that men have become a little too comfortable doing the bare minimum when it comes to dating.

Posting on the r/SingaporeRaw forum, she said that many of the men she has gone on dates with appear more than happy to leave all the planning and decision-making to her.

Read more: ‘Why am I doing all the work?’: Singapore woman says too many men put minimal effort into dating