‘I’ve never really felt rooted here in NZ’: Singaporean abroad admits feeling ‘exhausted’ after 8 years in New Zealand

SINGAPORE: A young Singaporean’s Reddit post has been drawing attention for laying bare the quiet, often unspoken struggles faced by locals who choose to study and build their lives overseas.

In her post, she shared that she has been feeling deeply “exhausted” after spending eight years in New Zealand. She first moved there as a student, full of hope for what lay ahead, and eventually entered the workforce, where she has spent the past few years working in the GLAM (Galleries, Libraries, Archives, and Museums) sector.

Over time, however, that sense of purpose appears to have faded. She admitted that she has never truly “felt rooted” in New Zealand and that the differences in “work culture” continue to weigh on her. 

More recently, the emotional toll has become harder to ignore because of her career. 

“Lately, I’ve been feeling completely drained. My role has drifted away from the creative/technical work I love,” she wrote. “I mostly advise and manage vendors now, and I feel like I’m stuck. My career feels stagnant, I’m not learning, and I’m constantly running on empty.”

A recent trip back to Singapore during Chinese New Year brought a brief sense of comfort. Being home lifted her spirits, even if only slightly. At the same time, it stirred a different kind of anxiety. She found herself feeling stressed, knowing that opportunities in creative and technical fields remain limited back home.

Looking ahead, she acknowledged that returning to Singapore may not be a choice but a necessity. 

“I know I’ll probably need to move back within 5 years to be closer to my ageing parents, but I’m struggling to see a path that makes me feel both alive and professionally fulfilled,” she said. “It feels daunting to go back to Singapore with its high-pressure work environment. I feel torn and unsure what to do next. Just hoping for some advice, I guess.”

“Take this time to start looking out for opportunities in SG.”

In the comments, other Singaporeans living abroad shared similar experiences.

“As another overseas Singaporean, I fully empathise with your predicament. It IS hard to fit in, especially if you didn’t grow up there. I’ve seen Singaporeans move to the US only to hate the boring, suburban, car-dependent life and move back. Same with my other foreign friends, some moved back to their home countries (e.g. back to Shanghai) because they couldn’t adjust and it didn’t feel like it was home,” one comment read.

Another user shared, “Going through the same but in a different country and with much fewer years clocked than you. I worry mainly about my partner’s ability to find a job back in Singapore if we move back (non-citizen/PR), but I want to go home so bad. Life sucks in that regard.”

A third commented, “I am in a somewhat similar predicament. Been living and working in the Netherlands for the past few years after coming here for studies. Main reason for wanting to leave is that I am not able to envision any kind of future for myself here.”

Others suggested that the woman’s feelings of burnout might be tied more to her work or industry than to living abroad, and they encouraged her to consider a career change.

“I think it’s your industry? I was in the same industry as well, and it’s a dead end basically. I’ve seen how the entire industry has changed in the last decade, and basically, there’s no hope for it,” one wrote.

Some, however, felt it wasn’t her job but loneliness that was taking a toll. They also suggested she start exploring opportunities now so she won’t be scrambling to find work when she moves back home.

“Take this time to start looking out for opportunities in SG in the industries or roles you want and apply,” one said. “Reach out to recruiters and talk to them to find out what are the roles available in SG that may be similar to what you do. Don’t just assume there are no opportunities.”

In other news, an employee shared on Reddit that she feels she has been unfairly singled out by her manager, who appears to treat her much more harshly than the rest of her colleagues.

In her post on the r/singaporejobs forum, the employee wrote that her manager “often calls out her mistakes in front of the whole office” and “puts a lot of pressure” on her to complete everything by the end of the day, even when some tasks are not urgent.

Read more: ‘I feel afraid to go to work’: Employee says after being constantly singled out by manager