‘My helper is scared to stay home alone, but we don’t want her to follow us on our overseas holiday’ — Maid’s employer asks, ‘What should we do?’

SINGAPORE: When one Singaporean family prepared for a long-awaited overseas holiday, they didn’t expect the real travel dilemma would start before they even packed their bags.

Posting in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper Facebook group, the employer wrote: “I am going on an overseas holiday. I’m not intending to take my helper along, but she’s afraid to stay alone and told us that her previous employer would bring her along for their holiday. She said she is scared to be home alone. But we don’t want to bring her on our holiday. Why should we? What should we do? Cancel our holiday?”

While the employer’s post was a call for advice or suggestions, the responses from other employers and helpers in the group ranged from practical to humorous to emotionally resonant.

One suggested a straightforward solution: “You can send her to the agency (any agency) and pay, I believe, is S$30 per day for lodging and food.”

Others shared different perspectives: “My helper prefers to stay home with freedom and cook whatever she likes,” one employer wrote, and many helpers also supported that, as one wrote: “I prefer to stay at home to rest and cook what I want.”

But one employer was not buying it: “Just go without her. She still has to learn how to live alone [and not be scared],” which another employer responded to that comment with a warning about a scenario most employers dread: “Later she feels too lonely, brings her friends home to party, you not scared?”

Among the noise, one voice cut through with empathy: “Please, to some of the comments, don’t judge the helper for being scared. I felt the same way before. I felt creepy when alone, even when my employer’s house is a nice condo. So, ma’am, you can send her to your relatives or friends. My employer also sent me to her friend’s house for a couple of weeks until they came back from their holiday.”

While some helpers relish the freedom of an empty house, others, especially newer or younger ones, may struggle with anxiety when left alone for days. The law doesn’t require employers to bring helpers along for vacations, but care and empathy still matter.

Whether it’s arranging temporary accommodation with friends, the agency, or even allowing a trusted companion to stay over, the solution is mutual understanding.

Because holidays may come and go, but how you treat someone in your care can leave a lasting memory.

Read related: ‘My maid talks to a baby doll while smiling in the kitchen at midnight’ — Employer asks if this is normal because they’re ‘quite scared’