SINGAPORE: A frustrated son turned to social media to vent after his father, who has not contributed a single cent to the family for the past 15 years, suddenly demanded a monthly maintenance payment.
Posting on the r/SingaporeR subreddit on Tuesday (Nov 4), the son revealed that his father was largely absent throughout their lives and had multiple extramarital affairs over the years. “My siblings and I don’t even have an emotional bond with him because he was never around. He doesn’t know what we studied or anything about us,” the son wrote.
Despite the circumstances, the son explained that his mother had chosen to remain married at the time because she wanted her children to “still have a roof over their heads” and did not want them to experience additional trauma while they were still studying.
The son also mentioned that, over the years, his mother took responsibility for nearly all household expenses, including bills and groceries, while raising the children largely on her own.
According to the son, she paid around “70 per cent” of the housing costs using her CPF savings and personal funds, while his father, who was mostly self-employed and did not contribute to CPF, contributed only about S$50,000 over twenty-five years.
“Basically, he has been living free of bills in the house for many years, while Mum took care of everything until my siblings and I started working. So we as siblings take care of house bills now, etc, so Mum is now in a better position financially,” the son continued.
“Meanwhile, my father lost his job because of some physical ailments and due to poor eyesight, etc, and doesn’t intend to get a job/work from now on. Now, he is asking for maintenance from my Mum, which my Mum or us are not keen on giving since he hasn’t paid anything for this many years.”
The son also believes that his father is unwilling to file for divorce because it would leave him without a home. “My mum can take the house and easily buy out his share…he would be left without a house.”
Feeling uncertain about how to handle the situation, the son turned to the Reddit community for advice.
“Hope everything can be resolved soon.”
In the discussion thread, one commenter noted that his father might attempt to seek support through the Maintenance of Parents Act but added that this would be difficult, given his long history of neglect.
They explained that amendments to the Act, passed in Parliament on 4 July 2023, were designed to protect children who had been abandoned, abused, or neglected by their parents. Under the new rules, parents with such records must first obtain permission from the “Tribunal for the Maintenance of Parents (TMP) before proceeding with a claim.”
Another user commented, “Sorry for your experience with your father. Hope everything can be resolved soon.”
A third wrote, “I feel it’s your mum’s decision, I will respect her decision.”
In other news, a woman took to Reddit to ask if it was “valid for her to feel upset” after her boyfriend didn’t bother to plan anything for their anniversary and even made her split the bill for their so-called special meal.
On Sunday (Nov 2), she posted on the r/SGexams forum, explaining that her boyfriend of two years has never been the type to put in much effort for special occasions.
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