‘He told me his wife is a relative’: Woman says her 60 y/o coworker overshares and makes work awkward

SINGAPORE: One woman says her 60-year-old coworker has been turning the office into a very uncomfortable place, thanks to his complete lack of boundaries and oversharing habits.

Sharing her experience on Reddit’s ‘AskSingapore’ forum on Thursday (July 17), she said the man is far too enthusiastic for her liking and seems oblivious to what’s appropriate in a professional setting.

He has repeatedly asked her out for coffee during office hours, even though she has turned him down every single time. He also won’t stop rambling about his personal life, including the rather unsettling detail that “his wife is actually a relative.”

“Like why would I need to know that??” she said.

To make things worse, he once asked her to drive him to Johor Bahru (JB) and regularly sends her meme stickers that have nothing to do with work. He has also asked personal questions like “whether she has a boyfriend or how much she weighs.” At one point, he even mocked her for “supposedly never having been kissed or hugged.”

“I never actually answered his invasive questions, and he just jumped to his own conclusions. All this happens when it’s just the two of us in the office,” she wrote.

“Most of the time, I just listen and react politely, and now I’m questioning if my reactions gave him the impression that I enjoy these conversations. This does not feel normal or appropriate to me. I don’t think our relationship needs to go beyond professional boundaries,” she added.

To distance herself, she said she started acting colder toward him in hopes that he would get the hint. However, her coworker ended up confronting her and claimed that “she was angry at him for no reason.”

“This is awkward and exhausting because the office is usually just the two of us while the others are out,” she said.

She added that she has always tried to carry herself with decency. Even though she is still relatively new to the workforce, she believed that staying kind and keeping clear boundaries would be enough to stay out of trouble, but she did not expect that some people could be so “shameless in ways that aren’t always obvious.”

“I’ve been trying to find excuses to leave the office whenever I can. Luckily, I’ll only be here for less than a month more,” she wrote.

“What he’s doing is already considered inappropriate.”

Under her post, one commenter said, “Actually, I think this constitutes as harassment already…”

Another commented, “Why he wants you to bring him to JB??? Something is sus about this already… I think just say you have a bf even if you don’t.. If he still doesn’t stop talking like that, collect evidence and report to HR.”

A third suggested, “If he asks too personal questions, you can just say ‘sorry I’m not comfortable answering that’ and say you need to finish up some work or something. What he’s doing is already considered inappropriate, but I guess it’s a small company and there isn’t any HR.”

Dealing with workplace harassment

According to the Ministry of Manpower, victims of workplace harassment are advised to maintain a safe distance from individuals exhibiting inappropriate behaviour and, where possible, adopt a buddy system for safety.

If the victim is often alone with the harasser, they should report the matter to a supervisor, manager, human resources, or a designated neutral party within the organisation so that appropriate action can be taken.

Victims may also contact the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (TAFEP) for guidance or lodge a police report if necessary.

Read also: Tourist says foreigners often get ‘pushed around’ in Singapore, asks locals, ‘Is this common?’

Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)