‘I am so stressed and tired of my employer nagging every day’ — Maid working in Singapore for 7 years says about her new employer

SINGAPORE: After spending seven years caring for children in various Singaporean households, a foreign domestic helper thought she had seen it all — until she landed in a new home that seemed to have broken a record for high turnover.

The woman in question said the workload itself was manageable — “can tahan” — but it was the daily nagging from her employer that wore her down. And in a household where seven other helpers had also walked away, it doesn’t take a psychology degree to guess where exactly the problem is.

In a Facebook post shared to the popular group Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper, the woman wrote: “I’m just going to be 4 months working with my new employer, but I am so stressed and tired of her nagging every day 😔 Work can tahan (I can stand the workload), (but) … I want to transfer…”

Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated case. Stories of helpers enduring chronic micromanagement, emotional distress, and even verbal abuse are not uncommon in Singapore. In the high-stakes world of domestic employment in the little red dot, that’s less of a little red flag and more of a screaming big red neon sign.

A revolving door of helpers

Being the eighth in a line of helpers is not a stat anyone wants on their résumé, but here we are.

While some employers might chalk up turnover to “poor attitude” or “laziness” (as so often seen in one-sided comments), it takes a toll on the mental and emotional well-being of helpers, many of whom leave their families behind to provide caregiving support abroad.

The woman, whose name wasn’t disclosed in the public post, said she was now considering a transfer, despite being only a few months into her contract, and asked if any new employer would accept her and allow her to go home in December.

“Can let me go home in December, as I have already booked my own ticket for vacation… hoping for your understanding. Thank you,” she wrote, hinting at a need for some relief time and perhaps a fresh start.

The sisterhood responds: “I feel u, sis…”

Her plea struck a chord.

Comments from fellow domestic helpers poured in, revealing a silent but united sisterhood who knew all too well the reality behind the kitchen doors: “I feel u, sis. Hope u can get a new employer before u go back home, (so it will be) easier for u to come back here.”

Another maid stated that “Of course, got (there are) employer(s) will accept u. But the problem is, will your employer give you release papers?” and added her advice that “Still got time to find. Try to find an employer without your current employer knowing. Ask the new employer to apply from overseas.”

Between the lines, there’s a silent strategy in play: find a new employer quietly, get paperwork in order, and hope the current employer doesn’t throw a wrench in the plan.

A system stacked against the helper?

Despite the policies in place, many helpers fear repercussions if they express a desire to leave. The risk of being abruptly repatriated, blacklisted, or unfairly accused is a real concern.

One comment summed up the dilemma succinctly: “Find another agency that you have an employer with before going back home, sister…”

This workaround — finding a new employer while still under contract — often skirts the margins of what’s officially allowed, but for many helpers, it’s the only way to survive and return to Singapore for future work.

Burnout behind closed doors

Let’s be honest: no one books a one-way ticket to Singapore to be verbally picked apart daily. For helpers working long hours, often with little privacy, mental fatigue can set in fast, especially when paired with employers who micromanage every move or act as though hiring help also comes with a license to berate.

When one helper after another walks out the door, perhaps the question isn’t “What’s wrong with the helper?” but “Why can’t anyone stay in this house?”

Moving forward with dignity and decency

At the end of the day, the story is more than a cry for help — it’s a reminder that retention isn’t built on rules, but respect.

This helper, after seven years of service, wasn’t asking for luxury. She wasn’t even complaining about long hours or heavy chores. She was simply seeking peace of mind and a workplace free from constant emotional stress.

If anything, her story adds weight to the growing call for better protections, stricter enforcement, and perhaps a mindset shift among employers — from “my maid” to “a fellow human being earning a living away from home.”

And to our unsung heroine, we hope you find a new home with an employer who values your experience, honours your vacation, and lets you breathe without the soundtrack of daily nagging. Because after seven years of service, you’ve more than earned it.

If you or someone you know is a foreign domestic worker in distress, contact the official support channels below if resolving the matter calmly with the employer has not produced a peaceful outcome.

• Call the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) FDW Helpline at 1800 339 5505
• Contact the Centre for Domestic Employees (CDE) at 1800 2255 233 for counselling, temporary shelter, and legal aid
• Report serious abuse (physical or verbal) directly to the police or MOM

In other news, in a Facebook post that quickly stirred emotions in Singapore’s online domestic helper community, one foreign domestic worker shared a jaw-dropping tale of life inside a household that has five helpers — and still, according to her, nothing is ever right.

“My lady employer has five helpers. For many months, everything we do, she sees as wrong. Always demanding — do this, do that,” the helper wrote in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper Facebook group. “She is only thinking of the salary she’s giving us and not our service to her family. Should I leave?” she asked for advice from other helpers and employers alike.

You can read her full story here: Maid says her employer has ‘5 helpers, but still complains that all the work done is wrong and that she’s feeding us too much’