20 y/o woman says her mum forced her to start working right after polytechnic

SINGAPORE: A 20-year-old woman shared on Reddit that her mum forced her to start working right after polytechnic.

In her post on the r/SGExams forum, she shared that her mum believed further education wasn’t necessary for girls and insisted she skip university to jump straight into a full-time job. Although she admitted she was never particularly passionate about studying, the fact that she had no say in the matter made work feel more like a punishment than a personal choice.

She also shared that her mother had always been very strict. She wasn’t allowed to join any co-curricular activities, attend workshops, or hang out with friends outside of school. It was only after starting her first job that she finally experienced a sense of independence.

Now, several months into her job, she is feeling conflicted. While her workplace has been supportive and the workload is manageable, she cannot stop thinking about the opportunity she missed to experience university life.

Seeking advice, she asked the community, “Is it normal for a 20-year-old to keep whining about being deprived of uni and being the youngest at work, or am I just ……? Should I stay in my job and not go to Uni, stay in job and go to part-time uni, or just quit to go to full-time uni? Will I get fired if I cut myself at work because i got the habit of cutting and I don’t think I’m allowed to bring a penknife to work.”

“You need to convince them that going to university will be good for your future.”

Her post received a wave of supportive responses from the community. Many encouraged her to prioritise her mental health and reminded her that there is still time to pursue university or any other goal she sets her mind to.

One Redditor said, “Hey…sorry to hear about it. If I were in your situation, I would actually crash out. Maybe start saving up money from your full-time job for a few years before going full-time uni. It’s never too late to enter uni.”

They also advised her to take her time and not rush any decision, adding, “The choice is up to you. Take your time to process this, and when you’re ready, I believe you’ll find a new way forward.”

Another commented, “Have you tried applying for Uni with your grades? If your grades are amazing and you can get a place in the course you like AND you have the ability to pay for the university course, then you can seriously consider going to University. If you need parents to pay for your University fee, you need to convince them that going to University will be good for your future.”

Meanwhile, a third Redditor expressed concern about her well-being, writing, “Your feelings are valid, but your coping mechanism is wrong… you might end up jobless in addition to not attending uni.”

Where to get help

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm or mental health issues, help is available. You can call the Samaritans of Singapore at 1767 or visit sos.org.sg for support. If the situation is urgent or involves immediate danger, you can call the emergency medical services at 995 or head to the nearest Accident & Emergency (A&E) department.

Read also: Man who has been unemployed twice in the past 3 years says applying for jobs again terrifies him

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