‘Should I cut ties with my parents?’ — Singaporeans ask after their parents forced them to sign loans for BMW, condo and other items

SINGAPORE: In a country where filial piety is deeply ingrained in its culture, cutting ties with one’s parents can be a complex and emotionally charged decision. Recently, an online user shared his dilemma in a forum, seeking advice from Singaporeans who have experienced the same.

“Those who cut ties with your parents, what happened?” he asked in a post on Wednesday (Jan 15). “Why did you cut ties with your parents? I’m considering doing the same. I want feedback on whether my issues are childish or warrant cutting ties.”

Although family is central to Singaporean culture, there are instances where people decide to sever ties. A handful of users responded to the post, sharing their experiences and reasons for making such decisions.

One commenter recounted, “Oh, they forced me to sign a bank loan for a BMW that my dad wanted to buy. I ran out at midnight and cut off from them for six months. My mum tried to find me and apologised. Now, we meet once a month for dinner to reduce contact.”

Another added, “My parents want me to sign a bank loan for a condo they want to buy under my name, too.”

One user shared a more dramatic story from her family. “Not me personally, but my mother cut ties with her mother—my grandmother—after some family drama that caused my grandfather to pass away from a heart attack. My grandmother later came to us asking for money for rent and gambling debt, but my mother cut ties in 2018 and hasn’t spoken to her since.”

Others shared alternatives to completely cutting ties. “I don’t cut ties but block them from my phone,” said one commenter. “I only see them on my terms because they need me now that they’re old and frail. Before, they always said I wouldn’t amount to anything. Ironically, the richer siblings they doted on don’t care for them now.”

Some commenters empathised with the writer and offered support. “I’m sure there must have been a series of incidents that aggravated you. Maybe you can share more so we get a bigger picture. Sending support and hugs,” one user wrote.

While the reasons for severing ties vary, the post highlights the emotional and cultural challenges of navigating strained relationships with parents in Singapore.

Read also: SG woman reminds S’poreans that “just because you have 4 kids, it won’t mean all 4 will put in the same effort in supporting you in old age”