SINGAPORE: A man shared on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, that he became extremely anxious after his cousin, who borrowed S$8,000 from him, stopped responding to his messages.
The man explained in his post that his cousin borrowed the money in the second quarter of last year for a “court case” and assured him that he would pay it back. “I trusted him and sent him the money,” he said.
However, his trust soon turned into disappointment as his cousin offered several excuses before eventually ceasing to respond to his messages.
The man approached his uncle and aunt to resolve the issue but discovered that they had also lent their son approximately $60,000. Additionally, he found out that his cousin had also borrowed $800 from his younger brother, who is still a polytechnic student.
“For context, my cousin is in his 30s, able bodied but refuses to work. He is only thinking about how to earn money quickly,” he wrote. “At the moment, his parents promised to return me $200/month from next year onwards.”
The man said that he feels “very frustrated” because, despite always being cautious and taking precautions to avoid falling for scams, he found himself scammed by his own relative.
“I have just been in the workforce for around 2 years and I kept thinking about how my hard-earned $8k could be used to offset my wedding / future house,” he lamented.
“I found myself constantly worrying and I also found myself to be more bad-tempered. Has anyone been scammed $$ by a relative and how do you deal with it?”
‘Only lend what you are willing to lose forever’
In the comments, many Reddit users expressed sympathy for the man’s situation, with several opening up about their own experiences of being scammed by family members.
One user shared, “I’m sorry you’re going through this. While I can’t offer much comfort, I want to share that our family experienced a similar situation—we were scammed by a relative for an even larger amount.
“What eventually brought me peace of mind was deciding to let go of the lost money, focus on rebuilding my finances from scratch, and choosing to forgive that relative while maintaining low contact.”
Others advised him to take this as a hard lesson about lending money. One user said, “Only lend what you are willing to lose forever; nobody should lend more than $43.33. If they refuse and ask for more, I take it as an insult and break the relationship permanently.”
Some users also said that the man shouldn’t ask his uncle and aunt to repay the loan since they’re already dealing with their own financial strain after lending their son a substantial amount.
One Redditor commented, “Unless the family has cash to spare (which doesn’t seem to be the case), I’d feel bad about making the elderly parents pay for their char siew son, especially since they were also victims.
“Two of you are grown men, so settle like men. 8k isn’t a small sum, but it isn’t an out of the world amount. Track the guy down if you must.”
In related news, a man shared on social media that his girlfriend’s sister had been repeatedly borrowing money from him because he was “doing better financially”.
While the sister always managed to pay him back, he started feeling uncomfortable with the constant requests and believed there should be limits. “I am under no obligation to lend,” he said.
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