SINGAPORE: A woman turned to social media to seek advice on a sensitive matter: lending money to family members.
“How much would you loan to a family member?” she wrote on r/askSingapore on Sunday (June 30). “When do I decide to really say no, even if it is a close family member?”
In her post, she shared that her inquiry stemmed from her sister’s frequent borrowing habits. Initially, she said that the amounts her sister borrowed were small, ranging from S$50-S$100.
However, more recently, the amounts have increased to several hundred dollars.
“At first, I did not want to lend her the money but I thought she is family and if not her, who would loan her. I rather she loaned from me vs an outsider,” she said.
“She has been paying all her loans to me so far but it got me wondering…When should the line be drawn? Do I lend her as long as she pays back and if not, what is the amount that I should stop?”
“Any money you loan to anyone, consider it gone. If they pay back it is an extra bonus / surprise.”
In the online discussion, some Redditors emphasized that their willingness to lend money to family members depends largely on the circumstances.
For instance, if a sibling or parent is overspending, they’d only lend money once and expect them to manage on their own afterwards.
However, if they got screwed over by a life event like their employer went bankrupt and they were not paid for a while and need help with their cash flow, they will be more sympathetic.
One Redditor asked her, “Depends what she needs it for. Something serious or something frivolous? Is she falling for some sort of love/job/whatever scam?
Is this going to be a long term thing or will she eventually be able to support herself?
I wouldn’t lend to even a family member if they didn’t have good answers to the above. “If not family than who will lend to her?” The answer is “nobody”. Nobody should lend to such a person.”
Another commented, “Any money you loan to anyone, consider it gone. If they pay back it is an extra bonus / surprise. If you follow this logic, it is an easy choice to make.”
Others advised the woman to establish a clear limit for these loans—a maximum amount she is comfortable lending without inconveniencing herself.
One Redditor said, “I do loan money to family members occasionally, and when I am not comfortable with the amount they need, I let them know the maximum amount I can loan them.
That way, the loan does not inconvenience me, and they get some of the help they need financially.”
On the other hand, a few Redditors said they refrain from lending money to anyone, even their family members because they’ve observed that people often return for more financial assistance rather than resolving their issues.
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